Your first reaction should be to ignore his message.
Do not overthink and get lost in what once was between you.
When an ex reaches out to you, it’s tempting to get mired in how good you felt when you were dating him, before everything fell apart.
This is how loneliness plays with your mind.
At present, you are lonely and crave the feeling you once had with him.
This loneliness is powerful in how it influences the mind.
Don’t let it.
Being without a partner, you are in a vulnerable state of mind.
You crave companionship.
An ex is familiar.
As human beings, we gravitate to what we are familiar with.
What is familiar is safer than the unknown.
We know what to expect.
When an ex reaches out and you have been lonely for a while, you are susceptible to yearning for said ex.
You yearn for him to fill a current void in your life.
That of loneliness and boredom.
It’s hard to resist him when you are already mired in this mindset.
Considering that he is your ex, he knows what works on you.
He knows the words and phrases that you like to hear.
He knows the emotional triggers that get you excited.
With this knowledge, he is intent on manipulating you to get you to do what he wants.
What does he want?
An ex that reaches out to you all of a sudden wants your time and attention.
He wants to get you to make him feel good.
At present, he doesn’t feel good.
Yes, he is lonely too.
He has struggled to find someone else.
Any relationships he has had since you didn’t work out.
He is back to square one.
Turning to you to use as a vessel to get him out of the current emotional rut he is in.
None of this means that he has changed.
There is a reason why you are no longer together.
That issue remains.
As a desperate ex, he won’t hesitate to make it seem as though he has changed, as long as he knows that by doing so, he keeps your time and attention.
He is so desperate for your time and attention, he is unabashed with his lies.
Sadly, the time and attention he wants from you is for his own self-fulfillment.
He knows that he hasn’t changed.
He is fully aware that he is the same guy he was while he was in a relationship with you.
Nevertheless, to keep your time and attention, he lies.
Besides your time and attention, he has reached out to you for reassurance.
A reassurance in knowing that you still care for him and consider him as someone worth loving.
Getting this reassurance from you goes far in making him feel better about his current loneliness.
Don’t get lost in thinking that your ex has reached out as a changed man who is sincerely intent on setting things right between you.
He isn’t.
He is primarily concerned with sucking up your time and attention, and getting reassurance.
Do not reply to his message.
This is how you move on.
Letting him back into your life is but a temporary reprieve.
Inevitably, the same old issues arise and the relationship fails once again.
Going through this for a second time, leaves you worse off emotionally than where you are now.