Better to wait on him to ask you out on a date instead.

Use his phone number to open up a conversation and see what his effort is like moving forward.

Never fall into a trap of initiating contact all the time, or most of the time.

A guy gets joy and inspiration from playing the role of a pursuer.

When you are the one who is initiating contact all the time, you take that role from him.

Biologically, men are programmed to pursue.

When you are the pursuer, you take a significant portion of that biological imperative from him.

He isn’t anywhere near as motivated to court the girl.

When you go even further by asking him out on a date, you are completely taking away his biological imperative.

Even if he isn’t fully aware of what has happened, his actions that follow bear out his dearth of motivation.

He is leaving it to you to call or text.

He is leaving it to you to ask for dates and set them up.

Before you know it, you are the one who is doing the lion’s share of the work to keep the courtship going.

This creates a pressure on you that you are detesting in time.

You wonder why he never or rarely ever calls or texts you.

As such, you ask yourself about whether he likes you.

You don’t feel desired as the female, considering that you are the one doing the work to text, call, and set up dates.

It won’t be long before you tire of this.

Unfortunately, you have spent weeks courting this guy and he hasn’t reciprocated.

The idea of asking him out on a date sounds enticing, but you are better off giving him a chance to ask you out on a date first.

Now that you have his phone number, it’s perfectly fine to initiate a text message or phone call.

That being said, there has to be a shift in how you communicate with him moving forward.

He should lead.

Meaning, he is the one who initiates contact the next time around.

In leading, he is fulfilling his biological imperative as a man.

If you initiate a conversation the next time around, you are setting the wrong tone.

You are conveying the message that you are taking the wheel and leading the courtship.

When you do this, his hands aren’t on the wheel.

Frankly, he is sitting on the passenger seat, letting you drive and make the decisions.

This keeps him from having any responsibility.

There are no stakes.

You are the one who is pursuing and investing.

A guy who believes that he doesn’t have to invest in a courtship, doesn’t take said courtship seriously.

You end up spending weeks initiating phone calls, texts, and dates, relieving him of the responsibility of courting you.

With this role reversal, you are dooming yourself to a disappointing ending.

A guy struggles to take a girl seriously when she is doing all of the work during courtship.

This makes her appear desperate, which devalues her.

It’s fine to initiate a text or phone call now that you have his phone number.

But, moving forward, he has to be the one that leads.

He has to take the mantle.