For years, your boyfriend was made fun of for his looks and personality.
This was at home with his own family, at school, work, and the world at large.
Before your boyfriend met you, he already had these personal insecurities.
I know what you are thinking.
Why does he continue to have these insecurities when he already has a girlfriend in you?
You thought that upon becoming his girlfriend, all of these insecurities should have been put to rest.
After all, having a girlfriend is the ultimate indicator that he isn’t a loser.
Yet, he continues to be so insecure with his looks and personality and there isn’t a day that goes by that he isn’t referencing either one of them.
He tells you that you will leave him for his terrible looks and personality.
He gets anxious whenever you so much as mention another guy’s name, regardless of whether that guy is someone you merely know from work or sits next to you in class.
It doesn’t matter.
He is immediately insecure about the prospect of you leaving him and going off with this random guy you barely know.
You love your boyfriend, but this is getting out of hand.
He keeps saying he is ugly and that he has no personality.
No matter how many times you tell him that you love him the way he is, it doesn’t do anything to quell his insecurities.
He comes at you again with his insecurities only moments later.
As aforementioned, his insecurity issues stem from his childhood and onward.
He was never made to feel that he was normal, as he was made fun of on a frequent basis.
No one defended him when he was bullied in school.
He was ill-equipped to defend himself either.
This made him socially awkward, which led to him becoming the quintessential weirdo of the class or school.
There was never a world where he believed that a girl would ever take an interest in him.
The only girls that he ever interacted with before you were the girls in his video games.
You were never someone he dreamt was possible in his life.
Yet, you showed up and took a liking to him.
This isn’t at all what he is used to.
He was so flummoxed that a girl like you would have a romantic interest in him.
Any girl, for that matter.
You are his first serious girlfriend and that has only elevated his level of anxiety.
He has remained in disbelief since the day you became his girlfriend, not wanting to accept the fact that you like him.
It goes against his life experience.
He has perpetually been invisible to girls.
Until you showed up.
Now that you are here, he is desperate not to lose you.
His insecurities have quadrupled in size since you showed up.
The thought of losing you is a constant worry in his mind.
He thinks that you will wake up one day, and the magic spell that was cast over your eyes by an unknown magical entity dissipates.
You see him for who he believes himself to be.
For who his family, schoolmates, workmates, and the world at large has made him believe himself to be his whole life.
An unattractive loser with a nonexistent personality.
Once you see this, you will leave him.
He is terrified of this.
By repeatedly telling you that you are going to leave him for someone better looking, he is looking for reassurance.
Whenever you tell him that you have no intention of doing as such, it gives him reassurance.
Unfortunately, that isn’t enough.
For as long as you are his girlfriend, the threat of you leaving him is ever-present, which means that he won’t stop bringing up his insecurities to you anytime soon.