How Do I Convince My Parents Not To Be Miserable And Disappointed That I Don’t Want To Have A Partner And Children?

How Do I Convince My Parents Not To Be Miserable And Disappointed That I Don't Want To Have A Partner And Children?Your parents want to expand the family in wanting you to get a partner and have children.

For them, this is a biological and social imperative.

Parents are used to having their children propagate their legacy.

This is in having said children make families of their own.

Yes, your parents have visualized what it would be like to have your future children, their grandchildren, bouncing on their laps.

For you, this is not what you envision for your future.

Relationships have never been for you.

And over the years, you finally came to a realization that you don’t want a partner.

Furthermore, you have no biological imperative to have children either.

There is no drive within you to do this, even though you are at an age where your peers are paired off and having children of their own.

Even though you have repeatedly told your parents that you don’t want to have a partner and children, they haven’t let up in trying to get you to change your mind.

There is a sadness that overwhelms them when you tell them that you haven’t changed your mind about not wanting to have a partner and children.

Inevitably, you are fed up of having to go through this with your parents each and every time you talk to them over the phone or in person.

It’s no wonder that you have arrived at a point in time where you want a definitive way to convince your parents that you do not want to have a partner and children, and there is no changing your mind.

Listen, it isn’t your job to convince your parents that you don’t want to have a partner and children.

Although your parents love you, their desire for you to have a partner and children is from a selfish place.

They aren’t taking your happiness into account.

They are primarily concerned about leaving a legacy.

That legacy ends with you, if you don’t have children.

As much as you love your parents, their desire that you have a partner and children is motivated by a selfish desire to leave a legacy behind when they die.

It’s not your job to appease their desire.

You never asked to be born.

They birthed you with a selfish intention to leave a legacy.

That is their business.

You don’t have to do the same if that isn’t what you desire.

If you believe that having a partner and children isn’t congruent with the life you want to live, that is your business.

You only have one life, and it is your life, not that of your parents.

If you were to reluctantly acquiesce to their desires, you are the one who gets stuck with a partner and children you never wanted, when your parents die.

You have no control over your parents’ emotions.

They are in full control of their emotions.

Being miserable and disappointed about your decision to not have a partner and children is a choice they make.

They have autonomy over their emotions, and the onus is on them to keep those emotions under control.

There is no convincing them that you have made the right decision in not wanting to have a partner or children, given that they are selfishly motivated to have you propagate their legacy through having children.

Instead of focusing on convincing them to feel differently about this, tell them that this is a decision that makes you happy.

Then turn the tables on them in asking them whether they want you to be happy.

Do this every time that they bring up the subject and act up about your decision.

As long as you keep giving them this perspective, each and every time they bring up the subject, they are forced to accept the reality that you won’t change your mind.

Although this won’t make them happy, they finally reach a detente with you.

After all, getting so worked up over it isn’t good for their health and they want to stick around for as long as possible.