He Was Cheating On His Wife With Me And I Had No Idea. How Do I Get Out Of This Mental Hole?

He Was Cheating On His Wife With Me And I Had No Idea. How Do I Get Out Of This Mental Hole?Finding out that all this time you shared with him was nothing but a farce is a hard pill to swallow.

Unbeknownst to you, he had a wife this whole time.

He led you to believe that he was single.

This made you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down and fall for him emotionally.

Only to find out that he was cheating on his wife with you all along.

With this horrifying news, you want to get out of this mental hole.

You want to be free of this man.

Yet, he won’t stop calling and texting you obsessively.

You have ignored his calls and messages with everything you had.

But, you have given in lately.

He has made all sorts of promises about leaving his wife and has apologized about not telling you about her.

None of that makes it right.

He wasn’t honest with you from the get-go.

That being said, you have wrestled with the possibility that he is telling the truth about wanting to leave his wife.

He talked about divorcing her and that he has every intention to do it.

All of this has you lost, wanting out of this mental hole.

Whenever you go through a good day where you don’t think about this whole ordeal, it is followed by multiple days where you can’t stop thinking about him.

You are crying yourself to sleep almost every night.

It’s as though you are trapped, wandering around in a shadowy maze in your head, with nowhere to exit.

To get yourself out of this mental hole, you must let go of the idea that a committed relationship with this guy is a possibility.

Deep down, you don’t want to admit it, but you are holding out hope that he was being forthright with you when he said that he wants to divorce his wife.

This is where the emotions you have developed for this man cloud your judgment.

Remember, he chose to have an affair with you without informing you about his wife.

This means that he began his relationship with you with deceit.

He used a lie to get you to give him what he wanted.

Intimacy and an escape.

The intimacy you provided satiated his physical desires, and the escape satiated his desire to get away from his wife for a while.

He has been primarily thinking about himself this whole time.

Let me reiterate.

He started his relationship with you on a lie.

Subsequently, he used you to satiate his desires without a care in the world.

This makes him a person that is all about himself.

The only reason why he was apologetic towards you was out of a fear of losing what he has been getting from you.

He doesn’t care that he was cheating on his wife with you.

Now that he has been found out, he thinks it prudent to act as though he has been wanting to divorce his wife all along.

He believes that in doing this, you forgive him and give him a second chance.

Don’t fall for it.

All he wants is to get back to where he was with you, with the sole intention of satisfying his selfish desires.

In recognizing that his motivation all along has been all about himself, it is easier for you to let go of the idea that he cares about you, and meant everything he said about wanting to divorce his wife.

If he wanted to divorce his wife, he would have done it before instigating an affair with you.

Having a full grasp and acceptance of this, frees you from your mental hole.