Why do I keep attracting poor-quality guys?

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  • #53926
    Elle
    Guest

    Dear Luke,

    I was impressed with your knowledge about relationships after watching several of your youtube videos and wanted to ask for your input on a problem I’ve been dealing with my whole life.

    I’m an undergraduate college student and it seems like I can only attract guys who are crazy, immature, player-types, controlling, disrespectful, not physically my type, etc… I have yet to be in a serious relationship because all of the guys I’ve connected with are just what I just described.
    I believe I have a lot to offer. I’m really nice, academically-inclined, well-known in my community, mature for my age (even though I acknowledge that I have a lot to learn from life), respectful, caring, selfless, don’t party or do drugs… Lots of people tell me how beautiful/hot/sexy I am and are surprised when I tell them I’m single. I try to expose myself to as many people as possible too. Some of these guys I have met offline in the real world too.
    Do I need to become the opposite of what I am in order to attract what I want? Is it just bad luck? If not, what can I do? Please tell me because I’m fed up.
    Thanks. -Elle

    #53927
    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Elle,

    You don’t have to be the opposite of what you are in order to attract what you want and it is not just bad luck.

    What you can do is first and foremost, truly ask yourself what kind of guy you want to attract. Be absolutely clear about him.

    What does he look like? What are his characteristics?

    Now, in order to attract this kind of guy into your life, you don’t only need to expose yourself to as many people as possible but you should expose yourself to the right kind of people.

    Where do you see the guy that you imagine being with hanging out? What are his hobbies? What courses does he support and partake in? Where would someone like him visit on a weekend or on a vacation? Where would someone like him go to in order to grow as a person or further his professional or academic career?

    You have really got to sit down and think this through.

    These are the places that you will need to expose yourself.

    Again, it is not just about exposing yourself to as many people as possible, but doing so around the right kind of people.

    You will not necessarily meet him on the first try. But if you are consistent with this, you will attract the right kind of guy into your life.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Luke.
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