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I met someone a while ago who is perfect in every way to me and the feelings are 100% mutual…I tried to date others before but none of them compare to him because deep down I always knew he was the one, even though I met some amazing men. A lot of bad things happened in my past…I escaped from a cult… And ever since I’ve been so numb to any kind of feelings of love even for the man I fell head over heals with…If he can’t stir those feelings, I know no one else can because he was everything I wanted. I don’t think any of the men are the problem, but myself, its like I lost the ability to feel any excitement, and my love gland just popped and its gone now. Please help…I’m so lost.
Hi Arcelia,
You may not be feeling love or romance for anyone anymore because you don’t feel that you are worthy of being loved. You have a low opinion of your own self-worth.
Being that you escaped a cult, this kind of feeling would not be unusual. You may have been taught to serve the many without any regard for your own personal happiness or sense of fulfillment.
Instead of dating, it may be best for you to focus on yourself for a while. Try finding a support group that may have been through the same experiences that you have as far as being part of a cult or any kind of group that dehumanizes its members.
That may be a good first step for you.
You may need to let your feelings out with people that you feel safe around. In other words, people that have had the same kind of experience or close to it.
When you are around that kind of support, you will start learning to love yourself again over time.
With that time, you may eventually get to the point where you realize that you are now ready and hopefully much more open to feeling love or romance for someone.
Wow thank you so much Mr. Luke. I really appreciate that guidance, and I believe you are right. I am feeling its best to just focus on me instead of trying to force the feelings of love again. Right now I still have some recovery left to do, and yes I did feel a lot of low self worth there and that makes sense why I can’t let myself feel those feelings like I used to. They used to make me put them before myself and it hurt a lot and made me very confused and I’m just now beginning to remember who I am…I’ll find a group to join and get help because it was very traumatic. Thank you so so much, you’ve really helped me so so much! <3 🙂
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