Very confusing work crush

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    Girl with a crush

    Hey Luke,

    Man oh man. I ended up developing a crush on a coworker during my internship and I’d really love your insight on my situation specifically.

    I ended up meeting him my first day on the job and felt something immediately the moment he smiled and looked down. This actually tended to be something he’d do often. Anytime I caught him looking at me in passing he’d immediately look down and smile slightly.

    The first time we talked I was trying to get some advice on a project and he was really receptive and helpful. I made a lot of eye contact with him but honestly didn’t feel much attraction from his end. He was really nice and insisted that I don’t hesitate to ask him any questions in the future. I didn’t approach him the first time, another coworker introduced us.

    The next time I saw him, I lightly waved to acknowledge him and he literally froze, his eyes wide and arms by his side, and kept walking without saying anything back.

    A few days later I finally decided to take him up on his offer to ask him for help. I was pretty nervous and a stuttered through it and he didn’t make it easy. He was actually super cold and not at all the way he was when we first talked which really discouraged me and made me feel terrible.

    I decided to send him an email next time I had a question. He immediately answered and when I didn’t reply, came up to me the next day to see if he addressed my concerns.

    I honestly don’t know how he feels about me but a lot was going through my head. I ended up accidentally screenshotting one of his social media profiles and he came up to me and asked me about it the next day. I really don’t know what to make of this. I feel like he might like me because he could have ignored it if he didn’t want to make it known that he knew.

    Overall he’s a very cool, calm and collected person who’s friends with all the other females. I always notice a colder treatment towards me but that might have been my fault (scaring him away) or it’s completely in my head.

    From what I’ve told you so far, what does the situation look like to you?


    Hi Girl with a crush,

    This coworker may have told you not to hesitate to ask him any questions in the future because he felt obligated to do so being that you are an intern.

    When you’ve caught him looking at you in the past and he has smiled and looked down, he may have simply been curious about you.

    However, once you catch him looking, he smiles and looks down so as not to make the situation look too awkward.

    He likes being in control of his interactions with you.

    When he isn’t, he can get cold.

    This is most likely why he was super cold to you when you took the initiative to ask him for help.

    His behavior so far seems to indicate that he is an individual that likes being in control of his environment. He gets curious when something new comes into it, such as yourself.

    However, once he has done his initial appraisal of the new entity, he returns to his militaristic control mindset.

    It doesn’t appear that he likes you in a romantic sense.

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