texting etiquette

[jamila]

so this guy at work and I had a funny exchange message conversation instigated by him ( I gave my number to him out of friendliness as it was my last day, mind you I’ve known him for 2 years). I know I have the potential to have a proper crush on him that could lead to typical girly obsessiveness but I force myself to wait an hour before replying and then the last message he sent which was the next day ( hour exchange was for 3-4hrs) I didn’t reply to as there was no question asked so I didn’t want to seem like a clingy person texting for the sake of keeping a conversation going just for the sake of it . I just think to myself if he liked me he would’ve asked for my number or have said something earlier as we had known each other for 2 years

My question is is that I still want him in my life even if he hasn’t said anything romantically. How can I stop myself from falling for him whilst at the same time maintaining a light hearted friendship

[Luke]

Hi Jamila,

To stop yourself from falling for him whilst maintaining a lighthearted friendship, avoid flirting with him.

It can be easy to fall into the trap of flirting with him.

You may not even be aware of the fact that you just had a flirtatious exchange of messages until that conversation is over.

Be aware whenever conversations start veering into flirtation and make sure that you redirect those conversations to more platonic topics.

This way, you don’t find yourself getting so caught up in flirting that you can’t stop thinking about those flirtatious exchanges long after that conversation has ended.

Something else you can do is avoid getting into lengthy conversations. Keep your conversations relatively short, at least for now.

Lengthy conversations further expose you to the likelihood of falling for him because the longer a conversation goes, the lower your guard goes.

You may have started that conversation with every intention of keeping it platonic.

However, due to its length, it meandered into topics that you know will only make you like him more romantically.

[jamila]

but what constitutes flirty texts? Is joking about topics considered flirty as our conversations were primarily joking about work and general cultural topics

On my last day of work I said to him when we first met we had a good conversation and he replied by saying ” we can still have more great conversations?”

By me acting distant will that ruin any prospect of a friendship as I won’t see him in my new job. it’s weird because I feel like he should be in my life but I know by him being in my life I can’t fully be myself around him in fear of falling for him

Or should I still act like myself?

[Luke]

Flirty texts typically have sexual undertones.

Joking about work and general cultural topics isn’t considered to be flirty.

Acting distant could ruin the prospect of friendship. Building a friendship with someone often requires some consistency in communication or interaction.

Yes, you should act like yourself.

Just remember to follow the aforementioned parameters in order to avoid falling for him.

[Author]

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