Stranger

[Aud]

Hi Luke,

Thank you for sharing dating tips on Youtube. It is straight to the point, useful and practical. 🙂

I would love to please seek your advice on the following:

About a month ago, I met a guy at a friend’s wedding. He is a friend of the groom while I am of the bride’s. We sat next to each other but didn’t talk. My friends encouraged me to make the first move. Unfortunately, I was too shy. There was no eye contact either as I was facing the stage the whole time (and back on him). Furthermore, I was not sure if he was single too as there were some ladies seated opposite us in that long table. I only noticed him face to face when I was up on stage for photo taking.

He’s been on my mind ever since. Recently, I mustered up my courage to ask my friend. Was told that he has migrated overseas for some time now. They have also shared his social media contact with me if I would like to get in touch. However, I was advised that it’s difficult to start something given the distance. They are concerned if I would be able to safeguard my heart and all but remained supportive if I would like to connect. No harm making new friends they say.

My heart says go for it but mind does the opposite. I am approaching my 30s soon but not crazy desperate. Would prefer to meet the right one. I am not someone who is very lucky in love either. Personally, I feel that if I never try, I would never know. I feel conflicted inside.

Would you recommend me to reach out? If yes, how should I draft my introductory message and continue the conversation if things work out? I did my homework online but the examples aren’t too suitable for my case.

Thank you so much in advance!

[Luke]

Hi Aud,

Thank you for your kind words and I am glad that the videos have been useful to you.

I wouldn’t recommend that you reach out to this stranger.

He is overseas.

Even if you were to reach out and really get along, the long distance will be a major impediment.

I know it is hard.

You have most likely been thinking about this guy constantly since the wedding.

However, it is best to let this go.

I know that you feel that if you never try, you will never know.

However, you should still be smart in the kind of risks that you choose to take.

If you haven’t been very lucky in love, looking to someone who lives overseas is not the best way to go about changing your luck.

If you have noticed a pattern of being unlucky in love, you may have to look to yourself in order to come up with answers.

Perhaps the issue has been in the kind of men that you tend to be attracted to or in how you behave when you believe that you have met the right one.

Looking to yourself could change everything when it comes to your luck in love.

Looking overseas may just be another way for you to avoid addressing some of the pressing issues that you tend to experience when it comes to dating and relationships.

If that is the case, even if you were to reach out to this guy and the both of you get along, the same issues will eventually surface anyway and that long distance relationship will not last.

[Aud]

Hi Luke,

Thank you very much for the great advice, it is greatly appreciated. I have decided not to reach out and work on myself until I meet the right one. Have a fantastic weekend! 🙂

[Luke]

You are welcome Aud.

Great decision on choosing not to reach out.

Difficult as it may be, you will come to discover that this was the most prudent way to go about this.

Working on yourself can often be challenging.

However, try not to fall into the temptation of rushing the process.

If you take the time necessary to do the work on yourself, not only will you increase the chances of meeting the right one eventually, but you will also dramatically improve the chances that the right one will stick around.

[Author]

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