Stalking

[Lane]

Hi Luke,

I met this guy (A) a few years ago through school and we became friends. We always hung out either in groups or alone. I really liked him as a friend and I liked being with him. At that time, I thought that he was only interested in a friendship with me even though his behaviour said otherwise. We were on a field trip at the end of the high school year where we (me and him) would talk on the phone late at night. I dated a guy at that time, so I didn’t think much of it. A few months later we started university (the same university), where I met a guy I liked (B). They (A and B) knew other and were a part of the same group. The guy I liked had an interest in me too and he and his friends (incl. A) would hang around me and my friend in the breaks. Sometimes A would hang around me or me and my friend alone where he would talk badly about B. He generally spoke ill of guys who showed interest in me and would interrupt us if he saw me with another guy. He didn’t like me talking to or about other guys. But he would always talk about and compliment other girls. I think he did it to gauge my reaction because he overdid it and he showed no real interest in other girls. One day when we were alone he asked me about if I had a boyfriend. I had just started talking to my ex again and didn’t knew what to say, so I jokingly said ”No, but if I had I wouldn’t tell you”. I did not see him for some time afterwards and in the meantime there was a guy (a guy I talked to many years ago) who began to spread rumors about me. I don’t know what he has told other than we know each other. But I found out that A and B knew him. That they all were acquaintances. Shortly after I see A at school where he and his friend looks at me from a distance. I walk by him without saying hi and towards the canteen with some other girls. Shortly after he shows up and passes by our table with a girl, which he does a couple of times and with different girls. He does this for a few days while ignoring me. I did not understand why he was behaving that way and why he ignored me and tried to break the ice by saying hi. He stopped to say hi, but seemed cold. He wasn’t his usual self. He also stopped showing up with other girls and stood instead, looking at me from a distance.

I complete my education and begin working. One day when I’m on my way home from work I see him driving by my workplace with a girl. He catches me looking at them and starts flirting with her. I find it strange, especially because he doesn’t live or work by. And because of the location of my workplace. I ignore it and think it must have been a coincidence. A few months later I decide to study further and moves to another town. Due to the virus I move back to my parents for a while where I see him driving past alone my parents’ house. He catches me looking at him and looks away. And again, he doesn’t live, work or know anyone who lives nearby. I think about it for a while and thinks he might want to get in touch but is too shy. That he might have liked me as more than a friend. He also used to try to impress me and wanted us to travel together. I decided to ignore it and said to myself that he would contact me if he wanted to. But now I can’t get it out of my mind and wonders if he’s stalking me. Am I paranoid or is he stalking me?

[Author]

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