Should you settle for a guy that’s good on paper but doesn’t really excite you?

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  • #115199
    Everly
    Participant

    I don’t want to commit to a guy and later regret it. He is great on paper. We are both well-educated and come from good family and cultural backgrounds.

    We have some activities and goals that we also share in common. It is just that, he doesn’t really excite me. I don’t feel those butterflies when I think about him.

    I want to feel head over heels for the guy I choose to commit to and I don’t believe this guy, as great as he is on paper, will ever make me feel that way.

    #115203
    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Everly,

    You shouldn’t settle. It is only going to come back to bite you as years later you keep thinking about what it would have been like if you hadn’t settled. Not worth it.

    The romantic chemistry with this guy is lacking. It happens. Even with a guy that seems to check every box on paper. There is clearly something missing with this guy that is keeping you from feeling those emotional butterflies you so crave.

    Think about guys in the past that have excited you. What do those guys have that this guy doesn’t? If you can extrapolate that, you know what is missing.

    Keep that missing quality or trait at the forefront of your mind whenever you start getting to know new guys and as you go out on dates with them.

    This way, you don’t keep going out on endless dates simply because the guy is good on paper. Once you have been out on enough dates to know that the spark just isn’t there, you are able to end it fairly early and keep moving until you meet Mr Right.

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