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For over a month, I was speaking to someone on a dating app. He initiated wanting to meet up in person but I avoided it/ showed signs of not being interested. He messaged me last week, on the actual dating app, wishing me a happy new year and hoping that he can speak with me/ apologize for offending me. We have not spoken in about a month ( I removed him from social media). He has never offended me but something about him makes me not want to meet up with him. I find him attractive for the exception of how he dresses. Usually ugly guys pursue me so the fact that he’s decent looking and still attempts to contact me, even though I’ve been kinda rude, has me off put. He hasn’t necessarily been creepy or show red flags, it’s just the fact that he is still interested in meeting me even though I have not been very nice with him. Should I give him a chance?
Hi Erica,
If you had been speaking to him for over a month on a dating app, there is a good chance that there were elements to his personality that you liked.
Coupling that with the fact that you find him to be attractive which is something that you aren’t used to experiencing in the type of guys who tend to pursue you, that is quite a potent combination.
If the only thing that has been holding you back is the way he dresses, that is always something that can be remedied with a little bit of fashion input on your end.
He may even be aware of his deficiencies when it comes to how he dresses and may be open to constructive criticism to help him improve his fashion sense.
If you are trying to figure out whether you should give him a chance or ignore him, being that he is still trying to contact you despite how cold you have been to him, ask yourself about what matters the most to you.
Does his lack of fashion-sense outweigh all of the other positive elements that he possesses?
Your answer to this question will let you know what path to take.
Not necessarily how he dresses that’s preventing me from wanting to meet up in person. It’s the fact that he’s persistent. If someone talked to me that way, I’d cut them in a jiffy. How desperate can you be? I’m unlucky in dating so nothing surprises me at this point.
Hi Erica,
Being that you are still unsure about whether you should give him a chance even though his persistence has turned you off to an extent, there is clearly something about him that is keeping you around.
After all, you mentioned that you tend to cut off guys like this in a jiffy.
You may be judging his persistent behavior based off of how unlucky you have been in dating.
The unattractive guys that tend to pursue you have probably shown a desperation in their attempts.
However, this particular guy may or may not be exhibiting desperation.
After all, the both of you did talk for over a month before he asked to meet up. Thereby, he did take some time to get to know you first unlike some unattractive guys in your past who have probably desperately asked you to meet up with them when they barely knew you or based off of only one or two interactions with you online.
It may be best to meet up with him in order to put your uncertainty to rest.
It doesn’t take much time or cost to meet up with him for a quick lunch or coffee date. Upon meeting and interacting with him, you will know very quickly whether he is truly a desperate guy or whether he would be someone that you would like to see again.
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