- This topic has 13 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by Reformed.
March 29, 2020 at 12:16 am #113047TomGuest
Me and my girlfriend been dating for nearly 2 years I’m 18 shes 19, what happened was her next door neighbor’s son had hes 16th birthday now the thing is this boy and her grow up together and she even told me that there like siblings but I dont know this guy much. So on the birthday they took really close pictures and she posted it on social media I got a little bit angry because of how close they looked and they looked like a COUPLE so I asked her to delete the picture but she refused and said shes not getting controlled by me like this so I told her I’m breaking up with you. It’s been 5 days shall I wait for her to come back to me.
She deleted my number and blocked me off snapchat and InstagramMarch 29, 2020 at 12:50 pm #113049
You shouldn’t wait for her to come back to you.
If you care about her and your relationship, you need to take a moment and ask yourself about what you asked her to do.
Imagine if the roles were reversed.
You were neighbor to a girl who you practically grew up with and you loved like a sister.
You proceed to innocently post pictures of the both of you being close and affectionate on her big day, her birthday, only to have your girlfriend tell you to delete the picture in a fit of jealousy.
How upset would you be with your girlfriend at that point in time?
How controlling would you think she is?
It’s not a good feeling, is it?
It’s only been 5 days since this argument happened, so you may still have time before her feelings for you completely dissipate.
If you care about your girlfriend and your relationship, reach out to her and let her know that you were in the wrong for what you said.
Give her the true impression that you conscientiously thought this through and understand that you were out of line in telling her to delete the picture of herself with a close friend that she knew long before she met you.
If you have a good history with her as a boyfriend and have treated her well, despite this one incident, she will take that into account and will most likely take you back.
But, time is of the essence.
If you wait this out, trying to be tough and stubborn, you could lose her.March 30, 2020 at 1:20 am #113055TomGuest
I messaged her last night but shes still very angry about it shes upset that we didn’t talk for days and that I left her crying at night, she also said that she doesn’t want to get back with me that we clash to much. I don’t know what do to now. I feel what you mean in your response plus I shouldn’t be insecure about a 16 yr old boy. My friends said leave her and give her time since I already tried talking to her. Because I feel like shes trying hard to resist already. Shes added me back on what’s app. Luke what do you think I should do from now on? Give her time or contact her again in a few days or weeks?March 30, 2020 at 9:32 am #113063
You should contact her every other day to check in on her.
Don’t pressure her to talk. Just let her know that you are thinking about her and that you love her.
Leave it at that. Don’t overdo it. Just send the one message each time.
Yes, she is still angry at you but in the back of her mind, she still wants to know that you care.
If you reach out to her briefly every other day, without any expectation of a response, but simply to let her know that you are thinking about her and love her, this will help in making her feel more secure about her relationship with you.
She has added you back on WhatsApp, which is a good sign.
She will do the same on Snapchat and Instagram as time goes on as long as she feels secure in knowing that you are trying to make it up to her by staying in touch.
Remember, don’t force anything whenever you message her.
It can be easy to fall into this temptation because of your emotions and a fervent desire to get her back as soon as possible.
But, stick to the script and keep it simple. Let her come to you when she is ready.
Despite the fact that she told you that she doesn’t want to get back with you, if you are consistent with this strategy, there is a good chance that she will take you back.
This is predicated on the both of you having had a good and healthy relationship that was going strong before this argument happened.March 30, 2020 at 10:24 am #113077TomGuest
Can you give me a few things to say to her over text? You know the text to show her that I care about herMarch 30, 2020 at 10:32 am #113078TomGuest
I really care for her, shes never done anything bad always stayed loyal and everything you know, shes fone so much for me. She’s Pakistani and she has very strict parents but shes managed to get them to agree to marry me
This is why I love her so much. So please give me a few ideas to tell her every other day.March 30, 2020 at 1:01 pm #113084
Just tell her that you are thinking about her and love her.
There is no need to get fancy with it.March 30, 2020 at 1:35 pm #113087TomGuest
Okay I feel that! I found a really nice video of us that she really wanted before
Should I send it to her with a little message like thinking about youMarch 30, 2020 at 1:35 pm #113088TomGuest
Btw thanks for your help man really appreciate itMarch 30, 2020 at 1:48 pm #113089
That video may be a bit too much. It’s best not to oversell what you are trying to do.
It could make her feel that much more resolved to stay angry at you because you would be trying too hard to make up for what you did.
Just send her the text, for now.
If she starts warming up to you by responding with some kind words, you could reach a point where you can send that video. It would just feel right to do at that point in time.
However, for now, just stick with the simple text.March 30, 2020 at 1:55 pm #113093TomGuest
What if I get no response should i keep going with the simple texts every few daysMarch 30, 2020 at 2:12 pm #113098TomGuest
Also when should I send the text ?April 1, 2020 at 9:54 am #113129ReformedGuest
If he is of legal age where you are at.
Be sure not to make the same mistake and try and be controlling a second time round. Your girlfriend now has a boyfriend. You hurt her by being controlling which is why she is went ahead and has been sleeping with him.
Be considerate and consult with your girlfriend’s boyfriend, see how he feels about all of this. Make sure that he feels included and isn’t upset by you coming back into the picture.
How you treated her wasn’t ok. You are controlling and might be a narcissist or have borderline personality disorder since you overreact to things.
You should seek treatment options.April 1, 2020 at 10:34 am #113130ReformedGuest
Don’t you understand? You’re like a kid who’s toy has been taken away. Your ego is hurt.
You really don’t get it. She loves you, you should fight for her.
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