Once a cheater, always a cheater?

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    For the last 2 months, I have been seeing a guy who recently got out of a 20 year relationship in which he cheated on his partner repeatedly.

    He told me that he has since changed and will never cheat on anyone ever again.

    Initially, I took him at his word, but it is hard to trust him when he is constantly making jokes about him being with other girls. He keeps telling me that we need to split up so that I can work on my jealousy.

    Basically, he is insinuating that my jealousy is the reason we can’t be in a relationship. I tell him the issue has everything to do with his past cheating reputation and the dumb jokes about women he makes, and nothing to do with issues on my end.


    Hi Lucy,

    A guy who repeatedly cheated on his partner for 20 years is most likely always going to be a cheater.

    This is not a situation where he had a bad lapse of judgment at an isolated moment during the course of his 20 year relationship. He cheated on her repeatedly, which means, he did it without conscience.

    As if his cheating history wasn’t bad enough, he is also trying make you feel as though you are the one who has the issues. This is typical of a guy who is narcissistic.

    It wouldn’t be wise to stay with him or get into a relationship with him.

    The longer you stay, the more he will manipulate you to the point where you could actually start believing that the problems lay on your end.

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