My instincts say yes but my mind says no.

[Nat S.]

Here is my problem. I have stayed away from dating and getting to know anyone for quite sometime now. Last year I met a young woman who works where I shop. At first I believe she was being nice but she slowly started asking more about myself and what I am into and that turned in to asking occasional advice on topics we had spoken about. She always seemed happy to see me and I could hear the difference in her voice when talking other customers. A few months ago she had taken a leave from work and when she came back after a few months the first time I saw her she was asking about some of my artwork I had showed her months ago and never talked about since. After showing her my new material she would compliment me on my artwork every time I saw her. This past week I was shopping and ran into her and caught her smiling at me and when I smiled back she looked down and nervous I also turned away and never got to see if she looked back at me.
I have been away from even attempting to talk to woman for such a long time I am unsure what I am seeing. My instincts say she is interested but my mind says no she isnt. Maybe she is just great a customer service but I need some input.

[Ben]

Not sure what you’re asking. Are you asking to ask her out or if she’s interested in you? We can’t tell you for sure since she’s not there. It could be either. And I would say to ask her out, but that doesn’t do much for your situation. Your mind is saying don’t because of rejection (probably) which is reasonable. But you’re also self-aware that we may be picking up on signals that may not be signals but her just being “nice” and providing “good customer service.”

Ultimately you’re going to have to take a risk or not and let her go.

I would go with something like this: “So there’s this really cute girl [describe her] that works at ______ [place she works at]. It’s hard for us guys not being mind readers and all.” (got to have confidence and a sly flirtatious coy look and tone for it to work). There’s always a corny pick up lines. (you know what vegetable you’d be? a cute-cumber)

[Author]

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