Moving really fast and wants to slow it down.

[Brad]

Looking for 3rd party opinions on this mess I got myself into this month. Here’s the quick background.

Matched with this girl on bumble. No plans or anything set, we randomly bump into each other at a bar on Dec 1st. Hit it off, and she ends up coming home with me that night. We end up hooking up the next day in the morning. She comes over that week for dinner and this sets up the past 3 weeks of us talking regularly via text throughout the day and hanging out on the weekends, staying over each others places, with regular intimacy. All moving very fast but it felt natural so I went with it.

Come to find out she broke up with her ex boyfriend at the start of November, so less then a month being single. Red flag for sure but I enjoy spending time with her so I ignored it.

This week I notice she isn’t talkative like she normally is. I have a lot going on so I decide to give her space. Last night she texts me a giant paragraph about how she really likes me, and hanging out with me but just being fresh off a break up, she doesn’t know where her heads at. She said she doesn’t want to stop hanging out with me but feels like things are moving really fast and wants to slow it all down. “She wants to breath for a second and figure everything out” but she feels a connection with me and has so much fun, I’m a sweet guy etc… Tons of mixed signals which I expect from someone confused who just got out of a long term relationship a month ago.

I agree with her completely and we do need to slow it down. We both got carried away the last 3 weeks. However I’m just confused by the mixed signals because she initiated all of this. Is the ex back in the picture? Am I her back up plan now who she just put on hold? It’s possible but who knows.

Part of me wants to just cut my losses and accept the fact I was a rebound but another part of me wants to stick it out and continue hooking up with her hoping one day she will be emotionally ready. Any input on these mixed signals would be appreciated. Thank you!

[Author]

Posts