Mixed Signals

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  • #51920
    Angel
    Guest

    I went on a date with this guy and we got along super well and after the date, we messaged eachother and decided we wanted to go on another date. My problem is is that he is horrible at texting. He takes ages to reply, but sometimes its really quick, but its usually very engaging and fun. I decided to see if he would initiative the conversation because I’m the one sending him the first message all the time. I waited for a day and a half and gave up and messaged him. He said he’s been ao busy working 2 jobs and having to do uni stuff that he hadn’t even thought of messaging me which bummed me out. Does he actually like me and want to date, or am I just not a priority to him? What should I do?

    #51922
    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Angel,

    You are just not a priority to him.

    If everything went so well on the first date and you both decided that you wanted to go on another date, he should have set that up by now.

    Instead, you are the one who has been initiating all of the text messages.

    That isn’t a sign of a guy who is interested.

    He also told you, after you gave up on waiting for him to text you first and decided to text him, that he hadn’t even thought about messaging you.

    This means that even after a supposedly great first date, you are not even crossing him mind. You are not even in his thoughts.

    So no, he doesn’t like you the way you like him nor does he want to date.

    It is best to move on from this guy.

    If you keep initiating texts and trying too hard to get him to talk to you or hang out with you, he will not consider you to be a prize and he will only get to the point where he just stops responding to your desperation entirely.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Luke.
    #52842
    Angel
    Guest

    Okay, so something happened to change it all. I took your advice and stopped talking to him. He then messaged me on both SMS and whatsapp asking how I was and I replied but not too seriously because I didn’t want to be hurt or confused. He then asked me out on a 2nd date, so we went yesterday and it was amazing, I’ve never felt so comfortable with a guy. I have intimacy and affection issues and I felt completely comfortable, like we held hands and had so much contact and I wasn’t scared. We said we’d plan another date soon, and went our separate ways. We messaged a bit afterwards and then he kinda stopped, although he’s been online. I did find out though that he works 3 jobs, and on top of that he has university. Do you think he’s just too busy to talk? I hate that I’m so clingy and worried, but I think it’s just something I’m going to have to work on.

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