Mix signals, obvious attraction

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Luke.
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    I have a co worker who is very attractive and stares at me.

    Let me break it down:

    Started working at new job 2 months ago, she is the one who did my paperwork.

    When I first met her I looked into her eyes and she was blushing uncontrollably and smiling. whenever I am near her she did this.

    When I took a picture of her and the team she was blushing uncontrollable.

    One time our shift ended at same time but when I left I said bye to the male co-worker and then went on my phone, I saw her basically running ahead of me/avoiding me to the train. so I assumed she didn’t like me.

    Then one day I walk by and she smiles at me

    Then I buy a new sexy shirt and I catch her being attracted and later that day we ate lunch together and had a tremendous conversation and connected well she was telling me really deep personal stuff, we could’ve talked forever but our breaks ran out, afterward we kept running into each other blushing.

    1 half week ago I wore something that everyone was complimenting later that week I was talking to another co worker then looked at her and she looked away, then I later caught her checking me out.

    Last week she keep looking at me in the office but I was so nervous I couldn’t look much.

    Today I made her laugh a bit, kinda embarrassed myself since I hit the wrong key on the computer, stuttered/ruined a joke once(due to sickness) but made her laugh and smile twice.

    I put on my new jacket which I could sense she was checking me out.

    Now here’s the thing, I was planning on asking for her number or bonding on the way out of work since our shift ended at same time, however she did the thing again where she walks away really fast to the train ahead of me, she skipped me with her headphones on even though I left first.

    Now it makes me confused as to whether she likes me or not, whether this was on purpose, or if I’m thinking too much due to:

    #1, I left first and she skipped ahead of me, I’ve given no reason to creep her out or indication that I would follow or harrass her, so it can’t be because she’s afraid of me. if she was she would’ve let me go first and I would have never seen her, if she was creeped out/afraid why would she go in my pov? usually a girl would stop and stay back or go the other way.

    #2 She did this before then we proceeded to bond and flirt, so maybe I’m overthinking it.

    What advice do you have and am I overthinking things. this woman is really shy.


    Hi RLSteen,

    The fact that she has gotten ahead of you and walked really fast for the train when the shift has ended a couple of times may have little to do with sending mixed signals and more to do with the fact that she just wants to get out of there.

    It may have nothing to do with you.

    Thereby, yes, there is a good chance that you are overthinking this.

    She has stared and smiled at you often.

    She has blushed a lot and even laughed at a joke you told that you believe that you ruined.

    This is normally the body language of attraction.

    It is also the kind of body language that indicates that she is comfortable with you and does not feel unsafe.

    It is best to ask this girl out as soon as possible.

    If you keep procrastinating on doing this, it may get to the point where she just starts looking at you as a work friend and nothing more, even if you were to eventually come around and ask her out.

    It’ll also give you an opportunity to learn whether she’s actually in a relationship with someone else or not.

    In essence, the sooner you ask her out, the sooner you will know if she is available or open to dating you.


    How should I go about asking her out or for her number?

    I hardly see her, but when I see her I feel intense attraction.

    How do I open her up when she’s so shy?


    Hi RLSteen,

    The next time that you see her at work, tell her that you are going to X place for lunch and if she would like to join you.

    Tell her that it would be your treat.

    Being that the both of you work together or within the same vicinity, this would be a very natural way to get her to meet you outside of the work environment.

    Meeting her in an environment outside of work could also help to open her up, being that she is so shy.

    Just getting her out of that work environment may be all that is required to get her to start showing you more of her personality.


    I’m scared, I don’t know usually women make it very obvious when they like me, the looking away thing discouraged me but then I catch her staring at me, the fast walk to the train too but then she eats lunch with me in the break rooms and gives me a portion of her food and tells me how her mom didn’t let her eat candy as a kid or date boys, or that she left a previous job because the tech was bad for breastfeeding, then blushing when we bump into each other later that day.

    I can’t relax. I’m losing my machismo and charisma around her.

    When I first met her I looked into her eyes intently and smiled, she was blushing the whole conversation.

    When I took pictures of the team and her she was blushing uncontrollably I never seen a girl do that for me and believe me I had girls go crazy for me but never seen a girl relieve her blush so to speak after I take picture.

    Then I hardly see her, what am I supposed to do at work next time I see her? go to the office and randomly ask for her number?

    What if shes seeing someone and likes me but feels guilt that’s why she avoids?

    Then again she’s SUPER shy, she was even stuttering in my voicemails asking if I could come in for shift

    Help me, confused still, anymore info you need I’ll ask


    Hi RLSteen,

    Yes, you go to the office and ask her out to lunch the next time you see her.

    If you don’t do this, you’ll just end up doing what you’re doing right now.

    You will just keep overthinking this until you either talk yourself out of it or lose whatever opportunity you may or may not have with her.

    You are scared because you want to be 100 percent certain that she likes you.

    This is why asking her out to lunch is to your benefit.

    Remember, you are not asking her out to be your girlfriend.

    You are just asking her out to lunch as a work colleague.

    Coworkers ask each other out to lunch all the time.

    It is normal.

    You have also already had several break room lunches with her in the past.

    So you have already built a degree of rapport with her, thereby making it even more likely that she will either say yes to your request or at least consider it.

    Getting her outside of the work environment will give you the best chance at loosening her up.

    This is where it will be easier for you to discover whether she’s seeing someone else or if she’s actually available.

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