Is that cheating? If so, does she deserve a 2nd chance

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Ben 3 months ago.

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  • #77219 Reply

    Zach

    I like a girl, she likes me. We agree we would date each other if we could (distance is currently preventing us from dating at the moment, but). We did agree we would do our best to be exclusive to each other. I assumed (BIG MISTAKE) that this made us something along the lines of bf and gf. Rewind to almost a month ago. She went to a party and ran into a guy she used to have feelings for, according to her, they went to another room and made out. He started touching her inappropriately and she told him to stop. She said she felt disgusted with herself and left. She called me not long after crying and apologizing. She admitted she made a huge mistake and that she wants to regain my trust and is willing to do whatever it takes. Things have gone back to almost normal, minus my new found paranoia and trust issues at times (which she understanding of and helpful). Am I over reacting? Should she be given a second chance? Please share any thoughts or tips you might have! What would you do.

    #77220 Reply

    Lula

    Personally I go by giving them one chance because if someone loved you enough to be with you’d then they’d treasure that chance, and likewise to myself.

    However your situation does sound tricky as it could all be true or something could potentially be fabricated

    The fact that she chose to make out with this guy shows that she wasn’t being loyal at the time and she didn’t have you in her mind.

    However it sounds like she seems to have regretted it like she was scared to hurt you, she didn’t have to tell you what happened but she was honest to you.

    I would also like to say that having no trust between a couple is such a toxic thing to have, if you can’t trust her or each other then you’re just dipping yourself into more hurt, as you spend your time worrying if she’s lying or doing more behind your back. I’m just assuming that you’re quite young, so if it’s not that long or serious, Could it be better to search for someone else who you can have better trust in?

    This is just my personal opinion on the matter, it dosent have all the answers but hopefully you can pick and choose if you think she deserves another chance or not etc

    Hope this all works out for you

    #77538 Reply

    Ben

    The very fact that she told you and stopped herself says something. She could’ve just said nothing (arguably if she was the one asking I’d tell her not to say anything but strive to never do it again because trust will be lost as we both know). But it takes a lot of character to a) come clean b) not go any further than she did. Honestly, it’s your choice. I can def see giving her 1 more chance. It’s hard when you have feelings for a previous person from a previous relationship. If it was some random dude probably yeah ditch. But ultimately, it’s your choice.

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