Is it wrong to believe that your first bf/gf can be your soulmate?

[Elle]

I’m 21 years old and I’ve only dated one guy in my entire life. We are not in an exclusive relationship as of now. I didn’t feel a need to date other guys because I have true feelings for him and I don’t think it’s necessary to date lots of people to know what you truly want. It seems like he wants me to date other guys so that I can be sure of what I really want and to be assured that I’m not dating him just because he’s the only guy I’ve ever done anything with. Perhaps he fears that I might cheat on him in the future because I didn’t get to experience what’s out there.

Is it reasonable for me to believe that he could be the person I end up marrying or do I really need to date multiple people to truly know what it is that I want?

[Luke]

Hi Elle,

It is reasonable for you to believe that he could be the person that you end up marrying only if the both of you are on the same page.

You are currently not in an exclusive relationship with him and he has told you that he wants you to date other guys.

This doesn’t sound like a guy who sees the kind of future with you that would lead to marriage.

Hence, it is essential that you don’t start developing high hopes in this relationship when the other partner may be of a totally different mindset.

Dating multiple people to truly know what it is that you want is not always necessary. However, it’s never good to rush into a relationship.

Allowing yourself the time to observe the current guy that you are seeing is crucial.

If you notice that he is simply not willing to open up to you or commit to an exclusive relationship, you should look at that as a strong sign that he isn’t interested in marrying you at some point in the future.

This is where you may feel the need to start opening yourself up to the idea of dating others and be justified in doing so.

[Author]

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