I can't figure him out

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  • #108171 Reply


    Dear Question Asker,

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    I told a guy at work my personal career goal that I didn’t want anyone to know. Now he constantly brings it up at work and asks for updates on the goal despite me saying I don’t like talking about it. He mays a conscious effort to come to me at work to ask about it. He is constantly teasing me to the point where I don’t know if it is mean but everyone says he’s like that to everyone. He never asks me personal questions about myself just about the career goal. I catch him staring once in a while as though he wants to come up and ask me something. He also usually comes up to me when there’s a friend with him or if I am sort of alone. I told him to leave me alone one day when he purposely came back into work to come over and say hello because I wasn’t in the mood to be teased and he said I have rude manners and walked off. Since then he is purposely ignoring me, When I was talking to another person at work today I could see from the corner of my eye that he briefly looked at me but he flat out ignores me as though he’s mad. Does he like me or is this just narcissistic behaviour?

    #108174 Reply


    Hi Salma,

    Being that he never asks you personal questions about yourself, it is unlikely that he likes you.

    Indeed, he may be showing narcissistic behavior instead.

    He teases people at work in the way he does because it gives him a sense of control over the person’s emotions. Oftentimes, this is how a narcissist makes themselves feel important.

    He is not only ignoring you now because you told him to leave you alone.

    He is ignoring you because you took away control of the interaction by denying him the opportunity to tease and conduct conversation with you to his liking.

    Trying to figure him out will only play into his hands.

    People with narcissistic tendencies often get satisfaction when they are able to keep someone guessing and unsure.

    However, they are often not necessarily looking to get involved with the person romantically. They get enough of a kick out of just knowing that they are able to play with the person’s thought process in this way.

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