- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I am recently engaged to be married and very happy. However, there’s this ex who will not leave me alone. I have tried everything. Last year, he told me he wanted to date me and I refused many times. He persisted so much we did end up going out a few times, he knows of my engagement and is still persistent. I have blocked him and told him we should keep distance because I don’t feel comfortable and then he ends up showing up to my office , acting like nothing happened and saying hello (he works in same building). It’s technically not really stalking but it’s being persistent to the point of it being very weird. How do I turn him off
Also, some examples of what he does is that he will make casual conversation with me in the workplace because he knows I will be at ease. Then, message me through our work messenger and tell me to unblock him. I unblock him and ask what is wrong and then he apologizes and asks if I want to grab lunch. Then the whole cycle starts over again after I refuse or say yes just to get him to leave me alone.
Hi Anonymous,
Your ex will not leave you alone as long as you keep enabling him.
When you have given in to his persistence by going out with him in the past, you have enabled him.
When you keep acknowledging him at work whenever he says hello and perhaps tries to have some small talk with you, you are enabling him.
When he messages you on your work messenger and tells you to unblock him and you do, you are enabling him.
That is why this whole cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again.
There still seems to be a part of you that is fond of your ex and thereby, even though you may be happily engaged to be married, you can’t quite seem to be able to let him go entirely.
To get your ex to leave you alone, you will have to completely ignore him and persist with this kind of behavior no matter how hard he tries to get you to go out with him or talk to him.
By enabling his behavior in the past, he has taken that as a sign of weakness on your part.
That is why he keeps taking advantage of your time.
If you completely ignore him, he will eventually run out of gas and leave you alone.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.