How do I get over being used and heartbroken?

[Saira]

I was dumb enough to allow a guy I was going out with to pressure me into having unprotected sex with him. At the time, I was in love with him and was afraid that I was going to lose him and not do any better if I didn’t give in to his wishes. I believed that he was eventually going to commit to me if I made him happy by having unprotected sex with him (even though I was strongly opposed to it due to the potential risks). He talked me into it by telling me how he wasn’t going to enjoy it if he used protection and how condoms are for “dirty girls”, hence he had no reason to use one since I was a virgin. I knew for a fact that he is the kind of guy who tends to sleep around a lot, especially with promiscuous women, so I was very concerned. However, I went along with it anyways because I wanted to make him happy and he told me he already got tested. This went on for several months.

I feel so stupid, disgusted, and angry for allowing myself to be manipulated by this guy who never committed to me and for giving him these privileges, knowing that he was probably sleeping with other women at the same time since we were not in an exclusive relationship. I think about this everyday since this happened and wish I had been brave enough to stand up for myself and walk away from him when he refused to respect my decision, among other red flags.

How can I get over this and stop resenting this guy who used me?

[Author]

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