How do I get over a crush that's in a relationship?

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  • #98804 Reply

    Storm

    How do I get over a crush that’s in a relationship?

    #98805 Reply

    Storm

    I’ve had a crush on a guy for almost a year now. Just last week I found out he got a girlfriend, my heart heart broke. Now every time I see them I feel so jealous. I sit next to my crush in almost every subject and it gets so awkward. He also flirts with me often but I feel like I’m his “side chick”. How do I get over him?

    #98850 Reply

    Luke
    Keymaster

    Hi Storm,

    A good way to get over a crush that is in a relationship is to first come to the understanding that you have spent a lot of time fantasizing about what a relationship with this crush would be like.

    Being that you have had this crush for almost a year, you have had a lot of time to come up with many fantastical scenarios in your mind about how amazing your crush is.

    The truth is, you don’t really know what it would have been like to date this crush.

    For all you know, the both of you would not have been compatible at all.

    Understand that all the scenarios that you created in your mind about this crush and what it would be like to be in a relationship with him were just fantasies.

    Your mind created the best possible scenarios so as to make you feel good.

    These scenarios are not based on reality.

    Your crush is flawed just like any other human being.

    Also understand that your crush is in a relationship.

    This means that he is emotionally unavailable to you.

    Imagine what it would be like to allow yourself to keep hoping that he will be yours one day only to realize that you have fallen in love with someone who is not emotionally available to you and thereby is unable to love you.

    That is not a good place to be.

    Once you understand this, it will be easier for you to get over this crush.

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