How can I pass the small talk stage and make conversations with her more meaningful?

[Nick]

Hi Luke,

Thanks again for the advice it really helped. I have been able to talk to her a lot more recently. Now I am wondering how I can pass the small talk stage and make the conversations more meaningful?

[Luke]

Hi Nick,

Congratulations in being able to talk to her a lot more recently.

You can pass the small talk stage and make conversations with her more meaningful by being more detail oriented with your conversations.

In other words, delve deeper into topics that you bring up as a source of conversations.

Describe how you felt in those real life scenarios and the people that you were with in detail. Give her a vivid picture of what those experiences were really like by being wordy and descriptive.

She will most likely be a lot more engaged in these kind of conversations and will feel the need to match your substance with more substance of her own.

This is how you can start getting her to open up even more about herself.

Lead by example and she will most likely follow.

[Nick]

Hi Luke,

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to talk to her recently as I think she is avoiding me for some reason. I was always careful in my approach and made sure to never come across as pushy or to keen. For about a week now she has been in every morning but hasn’t been down my aisle. I have caught her looking a couple times out the corner of my eye and she has walked passed my aisle both ways some mornings. I’m not sure what to do from here . Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

[Luke]

Hi Nick,

If you have mutual acquaintances, it may be a good idea to find out where she tends to hang out for fun. Putting yourself in those environments may give you a better chance to get to interact with her.

If not, you could try arriving earlier. If she tends to get there early, you may have a better chance to talk to her before anything starts.

[Nick]

Hi Luke,

Thanks for the advice. I have been able to talk to her again which is great! Nothing major just general chat like before. Im finding it hard to read her. When she didn’t come and say morning for a few days I caught her looking at me and as she is leaving the store she was looking. And when she started to come down my aisle again she seemed to spend more time almost like she was waiting for me to talk. I was wondering if you could give me any conversation starter ideas? I have already used products as a way of starting a conversations so I don’t really wanna use that again but i might have to if I can’t think of anything else. I also ask her how her weekend is on Monday which is a good way to start a conversation.
Thanks,
Nick

[Luke]

Hi Nick,

Try to tie a product that the both of you have talked about in the past to a fun activity or experience that you were engaged in recently.

If you are unaware of activities that she enjoys, you could use an activity or hangout spot that you know is popular among the people in the area that you live in. This gives you a better chance at connecting.

You could say something like:

“By the way, I used insert product name here just before I headed out to insert name of popular activity or hangout spot in your area here on Saturday.”

Doing this could connect with her and even trigger a recent memory in her mind about her involvement in the same activity.

She may say something like:

“You went to …? I was just there last week with a friend of mine.”

This could start the process of getting conversation away from products or generic general topics and into more personal interests. It will also facilitate building a stronger connection and rapport with her.

[Author]

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