Gym Guy

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    Hi Luke,

    Your videos are honestly a breath of fresh air, I’ve learnt so much from watching them and they’ve helped on all fronts, particularly on the area of confidence so huge thanks for taking time to create such amazing and concise videos.

    There’s this guy I noticed at my local gym. At first it appeared like he was flirting through his lingering eye contact and he would often wink whilst smiling. At first I thought he was just being polite so decided not to read too much into things so I would always reciprocate this gesture with a brief but friendly nod and smile. After a while he stopped smiling altogether and it was almost as if he appeared somewhat aloof and honestly a bit cold so I just didn’t think further into it.

    A while after coming to this conclusion I started seeing him around a lot more but thought nothing of it and didn’t want to be distracted from my workout but I could swear that from the brief moments I would look up from running I would always spot him parallel from where I was with his gaze fixed directly on me. I always found this quite confusing as natural human instinct is to quickly look away when happening to lock eyes on someone, however he never did. Most of the time I wouldn’t look up so it wouldn’t feel awkward but could still sense him staring from my peripherals. Once again I thought it would be wise not to just assume things as he could’ve been spacing out or even looking at someone behind me.

    However there was one day when the gym seemed pretty empty, with only a few people around and when I looked up from running . As usual I realised he had been staring at me but this time with a smile. Whilst I would’ve normally given a polite smile back, I was quite hesitant because there were people around him and honestly didn’t know what to make of it especially as he had once seemed cold so I immediately looked away. It just felt that irrespective of whether there were people around or not, he would always lingeringly stare without looking away, even when the gym was crowded. The strange thing about it is that for someone who seemed so confident to stare even with people around we never actually spoke. He once jumped up and literally stopped his workout to stare when I walked in to the gym and a few times I noticed him turn round holding a gaze. There were countless times when he would just stare and walk past me. There was nothing outrageous or revealing about my gym kit so I was often quite perplexed about why he’d stare so much or intermittently steal glances, often times it was across the room.

    A bit later I was having my usual workout in the same area, he appeared with a girl and they started working out together pretty close to where I was so I just ignored it and concluded that perhaps he had a girlfriend. I was concerned that if he did have a girlfriend she would notice him staring because he was quite obvious about it. If anything I just tried to be respectful of things and stay focused on my workouts without it being awkward and deliberately wouldn’t look back because the signs seemed quite confusing. He didn’t seem nasty but then I didn’t know him so well. What does this all mean? What lessons do you suggest I take from this?

    Would love your view on this, hope you have an amazing new year and looking forward to more great videos in 2020.

    Thanks so much 🙂


    Hi Mo,

    Thank you and I am glad that the videos have been so helpful to you.

    This guy may keep staring in such a lingering and flirtatious manner because he finds you attractive. However, he may not be willing to take things any further than that, at least, not on his own accord.

    The girl that he showed up with at the gym may indeed be his girlfriend.

    He may feel like it is okay for him to stare because technically, at least to him, that isn’t cheating.

    Hence, he stares at you.

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