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December 26, 2018 at 8:38 am #84994
There is this man who I thought had liked me but I didn’t exactly have feelings for but I thought I should be respectful to him and be civil.I don’t like the idea of being rude to someone just because they have a crush on you unless they’re exhibiting creepy ways. Anyway we were working on a project a few years ago. He kept staring at me. He would initiate conversations. I tried to be polite. I only greeted him and spoke to him when I had to relay messages to him. I never called him by his first name. I had older friends who would tell me he is a nice guy for you but I would keep saying he’s not my type, I’m not ready for a relationship, I had things to work out so entering a relationship at that point wouldn’t be ideal.
Fast forward a year and a half later another project came. I had no contact with him through all that time nor was I trying to make contact even though I took contact info from others who also worked on that project. My friends resumed their talk about him being a great guy for me. I had the same response, I even prayed literally that he would have a girlfriend by the time the project started so my friends wouldn’t try to hook us up and make things awkward.
Well he did have a girlfriend but things still got awkward. He would keep staring at me even after his girlfriend joined the project. His friends would make snide remarks about the situation and laugh and he would look at me to see my reaction. He would still greet me but things changed. There was an event and my friend and another were taking photos of me. He came in front of the camera and intentionally blocked it just when my friend snapped and I laughed and asked why’d he done that. He muttered sorry under his breath and then he stopped talking to me. He was making it a point to be nice to everyone else and he acted as though I didn’t exist.
His girlfriend came up to me to introduce herself on another occasion. The look he had in his face said it all. He stopped short, looked back at his friends, rolled his eyes then turned and stomped his feet and sat up in front and stared.
I was taken aback that he would act that way. We’re all adults. Then his attitude changed towards me completely. He went out of his way to be rude to me. As I mentioned earlier we were working on a project. I even adjusted my schedule because I wanted to give my best. He was in charge so I had to have contact with him. Whenever I had to ask him something he’d pretend that I didn’t exist, it would take him a while before he responded and when he did it was curt. He always seemed exasperated that I was there like if I was in his way. He would look at me rudely. His friends started treating me the same way. They’d make it a point to say that I didn’t do a task properly or if I was around they would make it a point to mention stuff about his relationship, his girlfriend, how happy they were for him. He would throw words for me. His girlfriend and I were cool. He looked annoyed anytime she spoke to me but I had no reason to be rude to her.
The time came when he got married to her. His friends made it a point to mention the wedding and how great it was while looking at me to see my reaction.
I was speaking to a friend on another occassion and he came out. I knew he wasn’t going to speak to me because he turned his head as he saw me but my friend called him over to congratulate him. I said congratulations as well but when I said it, he looked angry. He muttered something under his breath and walked off.
All of his friends either look at me condescendingly or with pity as though I’m this jealous and angry woman who was after their friend except I’m nothing of the sort. It’s as though I was supposed to be angry and jealous or I was supposed to have feelings for their friend.
I know this post is long but I wanted to be as detailed as possible. Was I expected to have liked him? Was this some ego thing where he wanted to boast that some other woman besides his wife found him attractive and it affected me badly to find out that he had someone else? Is he angry because I didn’t react the way he and his friends thought I should have? I don’t know what I did to warrant such behaviour. I didn’t say or do anything to offend him. I kept out of his way because I felt as though I had enough and I shouldn’t have had to put up with their bullying. I felt as though I couldn’t win. If I was there, they made it a point to be rude to me, if I stayed away they would make it a point to mention that I wasn’t showing up. One in particular would talk to me as though I was a child. They still treat ne like crap despite it being more than a year since the project ended. So, let me get your take on it.