Extremely shy or not interested?

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    Hi Luke
    I have this dilemma. I am a lesbian (not out) and theres this girl at work. One day I smiled at her ( just to be nice) and ever since then I noticed her looking at me more often than normal. As I walk by, she’ll turn her head to follow me in her sights, plays in her hair, smiles at me every so often and stumples over her words when I try to talk to her. When I speak to her sometimes, she just stands there and smiles, but doesn’t answer me & I need to repeat myself. It’s quite awkward. Here’s where it gets confusing. When I walk into the break room sometimes, she immediately walks out (this happened more than once) I followed her on instagram and she didnt follow back. I even liked some of her pictures (recent ones) to get her attention some more. Nothing. Maybe she heard I was a lesbian, and took my smile as something more and is now trying to see how often I look at her. I look at her often because I can sense her looking at me, but as I look at her shes looking first !!. Im confused. I did unfollow her on instagram because if she is intimidated/ uncomfortable with the fact I like her I don’t want to creep her out anymore. But if she is interested, I dont want to miss a chance, but maybe she is just uncomfortable with her sexuality? What is your take on this, please?
    Thank you.


    Hi Shay,

    She has shown signs that would indicate that she is attracted to you.

    However, she may not want to take a chance on letting that be known because she may have reservations about her own sexuality, as you suggested, but she may also have reservations about the fact that you are both at work.

    A good bet to know for sure if she is interested in you would be by interacting with her outside the workplace.

    Since you are interested in this girl, ask her out to lunch when you see her next.

    You can be sly about it by having a few of your coworkers tagging along and asking her if she wants to come with.

    Once you get her outside the workplace, it will be easier for you to gauge her.

    She will most likely feel more free in an environment that isn’t as rigid as the workplace and that would give you a chance to ascertain whether she wants to take things further with you in a romantic sense.

    This will come across through her body language and the kind of information she divulges during the lunch break.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Luke.
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