Let’s look at this objectively though. Your current girlfriend is keeping you a secret which is bothering you. I’m not saying that she’s cheating on you but saying that her family would tell her “stuff” is a good excuse to keep you hidden so that she could pretend to be single and cheat on you. Perhaps her family really is that toxic I don’t know and neither do you mate 0_o
You only see her once a month…. You could see a woman who lives closer more often.
She didn’t want to kiss you because she has a sense of morality. I would act in the same what as she did if a woman with a boyfriend tried to kiss me … So it’s likely that we think alike. If a girl told me that she left her boyfriend of 9 years to be with me I’d feel uncomfortable jumping into a relationship with her right away so she may feel that way too.
You two started dating when she was 14 and you were 18. You two may have grown apart. Mate she wasn’t grown when you started dating her… You started dating a girl and now she’s a woman. She’s not the same person you started dating 9 years ago.
Breakup with your girlfriend and don’t go straight to the other girl…. She may start dating someone else, sobeit. At that point you would be single and she is someone you could end up dating but not necessarily someone you ABSOLUTELY have to end up dating.
You tried kissing her once and she refused because you have a girlfriend….. You then try kissing her again whilst still having a girlfriend. Mate you seem pretty daft 😉