As long as feelings persist from at least one party in this long-term relationship, pain is inevitable.

Thinking about how to end a long-term relationship on good terms, in an emotional sense, only exacerbates the situation.

This is what leads to you delaying on ending the relationship because you are so caught up on how to do it in a way that doesn’t destroy him emotionally.

Someone is getting hurt.

This is unavoidable.

It doesn’t do you any good to be so wrapped up on the idea on how to soften the blow emotionally.

As long as your partner has feelings for you, he isn’t thinking about how amazing you are for having broken up with him using such kind words.

The reality is that you are breaking up with him.

There is no sugarcoating that, regardless of how kind your words are.

Sure, you can take all the blame and say that it is you that is the problem, not him.

This doesn’t land the blow any softer.

You are still breaking up with someone who has feelings for you and he is bound to be hurt.

This being said, there is a way to end a long-term relationship that softens the pain.

Not immediately.

He is too wrapped up in his feelings to see it immediately.

But over time, he does see it and comes to appreciate you for it.

This is where you demonstrate practical responsibility.

It’s the better approach to ending a long-term relationship on good terms and makes the breakup as painless on him as possible, in a practical sense.

For example, if you are both on a lease, make sure that you fulfill it before moving out or pay him your share in advance so that you don’t have to wait to move out.

Any outstanding bills that you have incurred as his roommate should be paid by you before you leave.

You don’t want to leave your ex stuck with a sudden increase in rent or an outstanding bill on account of you being done with the relationship and wanting out.

In the event that you don’t live with your soon-to-be ex, you can still make the process of ending your relationship with him as painless as possible, in a practical sense, by removing everything you have at his place that belongs to you.

Breaking up with him is hurtful enough, without you exacerbating the situation in leaving a toothbrush, earring or hair brush in his bathroom.

You need to remove everything of yours at his place so that he gets to grieve without constant reminders around him that you left him.

Lastly, do not under any circumstances talk to people in your circle about the details of why you broke up with him.

That is between the both of you.

Even when you are the one taking the blame.

People tend to embellish the truth.

By the time the story reaches him, it could be something completely different.

It would hurt and anger him greatly were he to listen to accounts from mutual friends about the breakup that put him in a bad light.

This is why you should refrain from talking about the breakup with mutual friends, family or acquaintances.

There was a breakup and that’s it.

No need to provide more information.

Perhaps in time, once he has moved on emotionally from you, you can open up to a friend or two about what led to your decision to end the relationship.

Not now though.

When you end the relationship, his mind is stuck in his immediate emotional pain and this keeps him from seeing beyond that.

As long as you break up with him responsibly, by doing what has been aforementioned, he will come to appreciate everything you did in time and that is as good of an end as one can hope for.