A desired man is desired for a reason.

He has qualities that attract women.

From his looks to his popularity to his wealth, he has qualities that attract women like flies.

This means he has options, lots of them.

A small percentage of men, roughly 10-20 percent, are desired by the lion’s share of women.

When you compete for a desired man who possesses all the top qualities that women are primarily attracted to, you have your hands full.

You need to take a step back and ask yourself about what type of man you want.

You have to go beyond what you see on the surface.

Look past his good looks, popularity and money.

Ask yourself whether he meets other core values that matter to you.

Is faithfulness a core value to you?

To figure out whether he is a faithful guy, study his dating history.

How many long-term relationships has he had and how long did they last?

Does he have a reputation for cheating on his girlfriends?

This dating history lets you know whether he is someone who has a propensity to be faithful or a propensity to cheat.

Is truthfulness a core value to you?

What is his reputation among his ex-girlfriends in terms of his propensity to tell the truth versus lying?

A guy who has a reputation of cheating, often lies too.

Those two normally go hand in hand.

The whole point of taking a step back to assess your core values and whether this desired man meets them is to get you to look beyond what is on the surface.

His good looks, popularity and wealth won’t make you feel any better when it is midnight and he is yet to come back home and you suspect he is out there cheating on you with someone else.

It doesn’t make you feel any better either when he returns home and is lying to you about the reason why he is late.

Deep down, you know that he wasn’t held up at work, fussing over a new project or assignment.

He was with some other woman.

This is why you need to take a moment and consider the amount of grief a desired man who lacks your core values is going to bring into your life if you compete for him with other women.

Even if you get him, it would be a waste of your time because you are ultimately headed in the direction of infidelity, which breeds distrust, which leads to the dissolution of a relationship.

None of this means that you shouldn’t compete for the man you want and if he so happens to be a man who is desired by women, so be it.

It’s just that you need to consider what type of relationship you are looking for.

A desire for a quick fling doesn’t require that he falls in line with your core values.

He would have no problem hooking up with you as long as you are very open about wanting to hook up with him.

Cue flirting and sexting, and next thing you know, he is at your apartment with a box of condoms in his pocket.

This isn’t much of a challenge.

It isn’t hard to get a desired man to sleep with you.

Where it gets a lot more dicey is when you want more than a simple hookup.

This is where you must assess your core values and confirm that his core values are in line with your own.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can get him to change his core values to align with your own, when they don’t.

So many women make this blunder, thinking they can change or fix the guy.

They normally end up heartbroken, having wasted precious months and years of their life on this hapless quest.

This isn’t where you want to end up.

Instead, go after the desired man who shares the same core values as you.

He may not check every single box of what you desire in a man, but he still has a lot going for him.

As long as he sees the same core values in you, you will set yourself apart from the majority of women who desire him more so for what is on the surface than for what is within.