My Boyfriend Is Often Unreachable For Hours, And When He Gets Back To Me, He Apologizes And Always Has An Excuse. Should I Be Concerned?

My Boyfriend Is Often Unreachable For Hours, And When He Gets Back To Me, He Apologizes And Always Has An Excuse. Should I Be Concerned?

As long as these are hours where he isn’t at work or class or involved in something you know has him unable to return your call or message, a pattern of being unreachable for hours is concerning.

Obviously, you have asked him why and he is telling you something that you don’t believe.

Hearing empty excuses over and over again doesn’t translate to feeling better about this.

The excuses only increase your concern, forcing you to entertain thoughts about your boyfriend that you never wanted to ever consider.

Thoughts about the potential of cheating on his part.

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The thought of him meeting someone he is cheating with at a location unknown to you during the hours he is unreachable is so dreadful, you wish it didn’t cross your mind as often as it does.

Whenever you have asked him about why he was unreachable, you have heard a variety of excuses.

He lost his phone.

Misplaced it.

Forgot it.

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It was on silent mode.

It wasn’t working.

There was an emergency.

He fell asleep.

The excuses are piling up and you are not feeling any better about what is happening.

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His behavior isn’t congruent with how he was before.

He was such a thoughtful boyfriend.

He answered your calls and texts promptly, and talked to you for hours.

Whenever he wasn’t with you for an hour or more, he was sending you constant messages telling you how much he missed you.

This is a distant memory.

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His behavior has changed.

Stop right here.

A boyfriend who has changed for the worse in other areas of a relationship is even more evidence that something is amiss.

What else has changed in your relationship?

When he is with you, is he happy to be there?

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Does he still take you out on dates?

Is he happy to talk to you for hours when he is spending time with you or is he constantly on his phone?

Normally, when something is afoot in a relationship, there are multiple signs.

Not just the one that sticks out to you, like how unreachable he is for hours, but other areas where he has dropped off in effort.

Have you noticed these areas?

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When was the last time he told you he loves you?

Having to think for a few minutes about this isn’t a good sign.

A boyfriend who has been dropping the ball in other areas in your relationship gives you every reason to be concerned when he is unreachable for hours.

This doesn’t instantly mean that he is cheating on you with someone else.

At least, not quite yet.

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His change in behavior is his indication that he is on that path.

He is pulling away so to speak.

Once a guy is pulling away, he is a lot more susceptible to cheating with someone else, should that opportunity arise.

A relationship that is salvageable requires that you have an open conversation with him about what is happening.

Don’t succumb to accusations.

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Telling him that you suspect he is cheating only exacerbates the situation, putting him on the defensive.

No, you must talk rationally and openly with him.

Men aren’t good at expressing their feelings.

Somewhere along the line you might have stopped addressing a need he had, and he may not have told you.

He allowed it to fester within him until he rebelled.

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Not by yelling at you and asking you why you are no longer doing whatever it was you used to do or he needs you to do.

No, he lashes out through ignoring you for hours as you are trying to reach him.

Sometimes, when a boyfriend stops doing so much of what he used to, it’s a cry for help.

Have a talk with him to see whether this is the case.

In deciding to meet that need, you two must have the patience to work diligently in addressing that need for a few weeks.

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In the event that things don’t get better, the relationship is as good as dead.

Attempting to salvage it had either come too late or it had simply run its course.

Not every relationship is built to last forever.

Count your losses and move on from him.


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