The men you are meeting and dating don’t have the emotional availability to make you feel important.
This is a man who already thinks there is no room for more than one person who is important in the relationship.
That person is him.
Are the men you date narcissistic?
Do they have a tendency to look out for themselves and what they want?
Are you constantly the one who appeases them, hoping that in showing how good of a girlfriend you are, they return the favor in how well they treat you?
When you have a history of dating narcissistic or self-indulgent men, you aren’t going to have too many instances where you feel important.
Think about it.
What men do you date?
What are their tendencies?
Men who persist in making you feel like you aren’t important have similar character traits.
Where there is a pattern of similar behavior in these men, you no longer have to consider whether you have just been unlucky in dating and relationships.
You are attracted to these men.
Perhaps, there is a part of you that believes you can get these emotionally unavailable men to see your value and make you feel important.
The challenge of getting these men to evolve into this sensitivity is the reason why you are drawn to these emotionally unavailable, self-indulgent men to begin with.
However, you haven’t had a great track record with them.
To have arrived at this moment, where you are strongly pondering the reason behind never having met a man who makes you feel important, shows that you have been failing.
It’s unbelievably hard to get an emotionally unavailable man with narcissistic and self-indulgent traits to ever see you as someone who is as important as he is in a relationship.
Looking at you in this vain, yanks his power from him.
Men like this don’t want to lose the power they have over the relationship.
Holding on to that power is a major factor in why he doesn’t make you feel important.
Were he to make you feel important, you would develop a confidence in the relationship that threatens his hold over you.
In feeling important, you aren’t fraught with anxiety.
He needs you to feel anxiety.
When you are anxious, you lose control of your emotions.
So much of your self-esteem is tied to how important he makes you feel.
As long as he doesn’t give you that sense of importance, you are anxious, questioning your self-worth.
This is how he maintains control.
Making you feel important builds your confidence and he doesn’t want this to happen.
Men like this are insecure within themselves.
They use outward bravado and swagger to mask that insecurity, but it exists, deep within them.
As long as you date men like this, your prospects of feeling important in a relationship are minute.
Some women have succeeded in getting these men to change, but at a price.
They worked so hard in getting him there, they transition into the ones obsessed with control.
The shoe is now on the other foot.
This does not make for a healthy relationship for either party.