My Friends Are All Taken But Me?

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My Friends Are All Taken But Me?

Human beings are social beings.

We pick our friends based on who we connect with on similar values, backgrounds and interests.

Friends rub off each other.

They copy each other’s fashion sense, eating habits, celebrity crushes, etc.

A hive mind sets in after a while of being together as friends, going through the ups and downs of life.

When something affects one friend, it affects everyone.

When one friend experiences a tragedy, the rest of the group experiences it too.

When one friend experiences success, the rest of the group experiences it too.

A hive mind.

In your case, your friends are all taken but you.

Maybe this snuck up on you unexpectedly or maybe you have been watching this develop for a while.

Either way, your friends are all taken but you, and that reality is hitting you like a ton of bricks.

Being that friends develop a hive mind, you feel left out.

So used to sharing so much as a unit, the absence of a boyfriend in your life leaves you feeling like an alien.

This is where you need to watch out.

That hive mind that friends share isn’t always a good thing.

Think about a group of friends who develop a hive mind around substance abuse.

Feeling peer pressure, each friend partakes in some form of substance abuse when socializing together to fit in.

Though several of these friends have a penchant for holding their liquor or drug ingestion without developing into addicts, the unlucky ones don’t have that tolerance.

An unlucky one who partook in substance abuse to fit in with said friends is suddenly struggling with getting through their day without abusing a substance, whether it be alcohol or drugs.

An addiction develops and their relationships in life suffer from it, whether it be relationships with family or said group of friends.

It isn’t long before this friend is ostracized from the group of friends for their addictive behavior.

This friend’s initial desire to fit in led to an addiction, that has now led to being kicked out of the group of friends.

This is why doing something for the sole purpose of fitting in is misguided and dangerous.

Many of your friends have boyfriends.

This doesn’t mean that you are ready for one.

Everyone is different.

Your friends have their reasons for being in romantic relationships.

These reasons may not gel with where you are in your life right now.

For now, your life isn’t itching for a boyfriend.

You experience greater joy in doing your hobbies, studying, hanging out with family and friends, etc.

There is no need to get a boyfriend to fit in.

This is where you run the risk of having the experience of the friend who developed into a drug addict.

Instead of vetting a guy, you rush into a relationship with him and make him your boyfriend, just to fit in with your friends.

That guy turns out to be toxic.

His toxicity and verbal abuse are so much a part of your life experience that you bring its negative effects into your relationships with friends and family.

Precipitously, you are brash and angry, lashing out at friends without thinking.

Soon, you have evolved into such a toxic mess, you are ostracized and kicked out of the group, just like the friend who developed an addiction to drugs.

Would you rather keep your circle of friends than get kicked out for toxic behavior?

Forcing a new boyfriend into your life too prematurely, just to fit into the group, leaves you susceptible to toxicity.

Instead, keep living your life to the fullest, doing what makes you happy.

While living your best life, should you happen to meet a great guy with the right characteristics for a good boyfriend, that works fine.

Never gamble on dating a random dude out of desperation to fit in with your friends who are taken.

Doing this exposes you to choosing the wrong guy and slipping into an abyss of abuse and ostracization.

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