Sometimes, the weight of expectations ruins a 3rd date.
Having arrived as far as a 3rd date, both parties apply certain expectations to it that weren’t present at the 1st and 2nd date.
Expectations differ depending on what either party aspires to and what their life experiences are.
One party is thinking about how the 3rd date begins, contemplating the possibility of increased pomp and circumstance.
Are they getting picked up at their home, about to be driven somewhere that blows them away?
The other party is thinking about how the 3rd date ends.
Is there a kiss, hand-holding or an invite back to someone’s home?
The 3rd date has long been considered to be the do or die date.
Either party comes in with their own expectations based on their own life experience.
Those expectations don’t always coincide with that of the other.
Did you have certain expectations on this 3rd date that you weren’t acknowledging all that much before arriving?
Were you expecting a new level of intensity that you didn’t have at the 1st and 2nd date?
Unbeknownst to you, certain expectations that were lodged in your subconscious that weren’t met on this 3rd date could have caused you to mentally detach, your physical body present, but your mind somewhere else entirely.
Energy is infectious.
Sensing that you weren’t fully mentally present at the date, they start detaching too, finding a lot more excitement in staring at the walls than at your face.
By the same token, your date could have been expecting you to raise your game.
You arrived at the 3rd date with the same energy as you did the 1st and 2nd, not robust nor dead.
But that wasn’t enough.
They wanted to see something different, whether it be in how you talked or how you acted.
Realizing that you weren’t coming with that, your date got dejected and everything that followed was simply a process of going through the motions.
3rd dates either sizzle or fizzle.
When they fizzle, the catalyst stems from expectations that weren’t met by one or both parties.
Weirdly enough, having such a really good 1st and 2nd date set the both of you up for the failure that was the 3rd date.
One or both of you expected fireworks, given how good the 1st and 2nd dates were.
Your 3rd date became a victim of the success that was experienced on the 1st and 2nd date.
The thing is, although 1st and 2nd dates are often fraught with anxiety, most people become more relaxed as they talk and get to know each other better.
The unforeseen effect of this is that both parties take this too far and arrive on their 3rd date a bit too relaxed.
No longer are they putting out the effort to make conversation flow, out of fear of the awkward silence.
Instead, now that they are more relaxed, having gotten rid of the 1st and 2nd date jitters, they sit back expecting to be entertained or wowed by the other party.
Was this you or your date?
Perhaps it was the both of you doing it without even realizing it.
The weight of expectations and a grandiose amount of complacency is often what kills a 3rd date, making it turn out bad and sending you both home feeling aggrieved.
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