Asking your friends about why they don’t approve of your boyfriend is a start.
Do this first.
If you have already, you have your answer.
Good friends would be honest with you when it comes to what it is they dislike about your boyfriend.
Perhaps you aren’t happy with what they have told you.
You find it hard to accept their critique and feel the need to further question why they don’t approve of your boyfriend.
Sometimes, your friends are protective to a fault, but it isn’t always for no good reason besides that of a new guy in your life rubbing them the wrong way or just looking different.
Your friends know what your dating history is.
There are guys who have come into your life in the past that weren’t the best for you.
They saw what you went through.
You went to them for comfort when he was treating you badly and they were your shoulder to cry on.
Now, there is a new boyfriend in your life and some of your friends are seeing traits in him that remind them of your toxic ex boyfriends.
You don’t see these traits, but your friends have been here before.
They believe they know what’s coming and some have decided to show their disapproval before you reach a point of no return in this relationship.
True friends look out for each other.
Once you become emotionally invested in a relationship, you have blind spots.
Most in this state are blind to the warning signs.
Some of your friends are seeing these warning signs and have disapproved of your boyfriend.
It’s easier to see clearer when a person is on the outside looking in.
There are no emotions to cloud their judgment.
Don’t overlook this disapproval by your friends. Take the reasoning behind their disapproval into advisement.
Think back to your past boyfriends who ended up hurting you and ask yourself whether there are similarities between them and your current boyfriend.
If there are, this is what your friends are referencing and you would be wise to take heed.
Now, perhaps you do all this introspection and still believe your boyfriend has no traits whatsoever that shadow those of your previous toxic boyfriends.
If anything, you believe he is the complete opposite of them.
Yet, your friends have shown a disapproval.
Perhaps they were more vague in their explanation behind why they disapprove.
Telling you that there is just something about him they don’t like, without giving you specific details or examples.
This is more baffling.
But, there are occasions in friendships where jealousy ensues.
The introduction of someone new suddenly causes a wrinkle in the dynamics of the friendships.
All of a sudden, your friends aren’t seeing you as often as they used to nor talking with you as much.
They worry that you are pulling away, fearful that this new boyfriend is taking you away from them.
He doesn’t hang out with them all that much either, making your friends even more weary of him.
He is taking you away from them and instinctively they feel the need to push back against that by disapproving of him.
Think about this.
Have you found yourself spending a lot more time with this seemingly perfect boyfriend lately and less time with your friends?
If you have, this is where the disapproval is coming from.
All you need to do is rebalance.
Get back to spending more time with your friends.
It’s never healthy to spend too much time with a new romantic partner in expense of your friendships.
A healthy balance of the two is required, not just to maintain those friendships but to maintain a healthy romantic relationship.
It allows both relationships to breathe without too much dependency on either end.
That is the perfect balance.
Get the very best of DatingLogic straight to your inbox!