Deep stares are visceral.
One minute you are aware of where you are, the next minute, you are lost in his gaze.
Sometimes, the moment is so powerful, it feels like time itself has stopped or slowed down profoundly.
Each breath you take in is felt.
Each heartbeat is heard.
Everyone within eyeshot besides him becomes a blur.
All there is in your world in that moment are the both of you.
He didn’t only stare at you like this once.
He did it multiple times throughout the first date.
You went from feeling a little uneasy about it at first, finding it hard to maintain eye contact, to loving it.
No one has looked at you so deeply on a first date.
With this much electricity on a first date, what would the second date be like?
Try as you did to stop it, you felt giddy, lightheaded, elevated to emotional heights you didn’t even know were possible on a first date.
Then, he looks at his watch, calls for the check and ends the date early.
To add insult to injury, he gives you an awkward hug outside and quickly walks away, never to be heard from again.
Traumatized, you just don’t want to believe this is it.
Not after all of that deep staring.
Disciplining yourself, you choose to wait for him to ask you out again.
As the days turn to weeks, you sit alone on a Friday night watching Netflix, wondering what on earth happened?
Why would a guy stare at you so deeply on a first date, multiple times at that, only to end the date early and ghost you?
To get to the bottom of this, you need to think about how you responded to him when he was doing this.
Guys feed off a girl’s reaction.
Many guys act a certain way in order to see how the woman reacts.
Based on her reaction, they either feel encouraged to keep pursuing her or they get discouraged and choose to stop pursuing her.
He was looking for a particular reaction from you.
Think about how you reacted to him when he was staring deeply into your eyes.
What were you doing?
At first, you looked away perhaps, not quite sure about what he was doing and feeling understandably tense or edgy.
When he would have more of those moments of staring at you deeply, how were you reacting?
In not reacting in a way he is hoping for, a guy makes an assessment that the connection simply isn’t there.
Every guy has something in particular they are looking for.
Some want the girl to hold the stare for a little longer than the norm and smile, before taking it away.
Some want the girl to stare back just as deeply and for the entire duration without breaking it, matching him in intensity.
Some want the girl to notice the staring and inquire about it so that they gauge how she reacts to what they tell her.
Some want the girl to take the initiative in choosing another point during the course of the date where she starts doing the staring.
Locking eyes with the guy by her own accord encourages him into believing there is a deeper connection between them.
For many of these men, a failure to feel an intense connection when staring deeply into a woman’s eyes, is enough to make them end the date early and ghost her.
An immediate intense connection on a first date is how they gauge whether it would be worth the time, effort and money to keep meeting a girl on dates.
In your case, he didn’t feel the intensity he was looking for.
Knowing that, asking you out on further dates wouldn’t have made much sense to him.
The way he sees it, if the intensity isn’t there on the first date, it isn’t going to be there in consequent dates.
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