This can be a challenging position to be in.
A boyfriend who is best friends with an ex is someone that most likely loves their ex.
The problem with this kind of love is that it can be very mercurial.
In other words, they can have extended periods of time where they are simply platonic with each other, but that could change on a dime.
All it would take could be an argument with you or a moment of doubt and consequent reflection.
If the both of you have an argument and aren’t typically good at resolving those arguments in short order, your boyfriend may turn to his ex to confide in.
He may tell her about the issue at hand and take comfort from her words of advice and encouragement.
This alone could make your boyfriend start thinking that perhaps, if he were dating his ex again, he could avoid these kind of arguments.
Indeed, he may even acknowledge that he never had these kind of arguments with his ex, who is also his best friend.
The longer that the argument remains unresolved between the both of you, the more likely that he will keep turning to his ex for words of comfort or to simply have someone who will listen to him.
This period could ultimately lead to him possibly even cheating on you with this ex because she has been there for him and seems to understand him so much better.
This is how your boyfriend and his ex, who happens to be his best friend, can experience the throes of such a mercurial type of relationship.
Again, things can flip from platonic to romantic with ease depending on both of their circumstances.
Perhaps a moment of doubt and consequent reflection comes about because something has triggered a really fun, romantic memory of that ex.
Your boyfriend suddenly finds himself wrapped up in these thoughts.
He is so attached to those images in his mind.
He remembers how good it felt to be around his ex during that moment.
He remembers how in love they both were with each other.
This period of doubt and consequent reflection could lead him to reach out to his ex in a way that isn’t platonic.
He may remind her about when they engaged in said activity or when they shared this particular moment.
His ex may remember that said activity or moment and also become wrapped up in it.
All of a sudden, they may both start thinking about whether giving romance another try wouldn’t be worth it.
These are the kind of dangers that you face when your boyfriend is best friends with an ex.
Your best option is not to try to end this best friend relationship.
Doing this would only make your boyfriend detest you and even possibly lead him back into his ex’s arms.
Instead, focus on building a very strong relationship with your boyfriend.
Do not let an argument go unresolved for any length of time.
Always communicate and talk things out.
Be your boyfriend’s best friend.
His ex doesn’t have to keep that mantle.
Learn to make him feel like he can trust you with anything, regardless of how bad he thinks that it would make him look.
Keep creating fantastic new memories with your boyfriend by constantly engaging in new activities together, thereby keeping the relationship fresh.
When you are able to build this kind of stalwart relationship, your boyfriend would never feel the need to look for comfort from his ex nor the need to reflect on specific enjoyable moments from that previous romantic relationship.
The more your boyfriend looks to you as a source of comfort, love, acceptance and excitement, the higher the likelihood that he will never stray on you with his ex.
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