Keep in mind that a particularly quiet person is relatively uncomfortable with conversation at first.
So, if you were to approach a particularly quiet person and attempt to start a conversation, don’t panic if she isn’t all that talkative initially.
It takes time for a quiet person to get comfortable enough to be extemporaneous in conversation.
The quickest route to making a particularly quiet person comfortable is to bring up a topci of conversation that she is familiar with.
Having prior knowledge about the topic increases her confidence in talking about it.
The topic is familiar territory, and quiet people like the safety that comes with this.
Since she is knowledgeable about the topic, she won’t be so afraid about embarrassing herself while talking to you.
If you take the same classes with this quiet person, talk about a class.
If you go to the same church as this quiet person, talk about a topic that is related to the last sermon or to the church as a whole.
Work at the same job?
Ask her questions in reference to her expertise at the job.
Familiar topics are safe topics with quiet people.
They are less restrained in their response to you.
In the process of talking to this quiet person about a familiar topic, she starts warming up to you, and the conversation segues into different topics.
Don’t force the issue by prematurely segueing into a completely different topic due to impatience or boredom.
This only makes this particularly quiet person uneasy, and she loses focus.
In lieu of this, let the quiet person be the one to segue to a different topic, or only segue to a different topic if it has a direct relation to the topic you were already talking about.
This gives a natural feel to the conversation, and the quiet person is that much more comfortable with talking to you.
As you are talking to this quiet person, relate to her.
Whether it is in pop culture, music, or a hobby, relate to her by telling her about a mutual passion for the same activity.
Give her a short account of a similar experience you have had with that mutual passion.
Whenever you relate to her, she develops a stronger sense of connection with you, and this loosens her up.
All of a sudden, she sees you as a kindred spirit and this is endearing to her.
Once she gets to this level of comfort with you, it is much easier for her to open up to you.
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