When you put off dating because you don’t feel you’re dating material yet, you may be doing that for underlying reasons that you aren’t acknowledging to yourself.
You may make yourself believe that you have been putting off dating because you are working on making yourself a better person. You are making improvements in your general temperament, social status or career.
However, you do need to understand that there is the danger of reaching a point where you never feel like you are ready.
You would feel like you have to take this or that action before you get to the point where you are dating material.
So you work harder towards that promotion at work or that social recognition from your peers.
However, even after you have achieved your goal, you still feel that it isn’t quite right yet.
Consequently, you continue going after different goals and it just never ends.
You need to understand that there is a difference between wanting to improve yourself and being afraid.
You may be putting off dating right now not necessarily because you are hoping to become dating material.
When you find yourself constantly putting off dating even after you have achieved certain goals, you may be doing so out of fear that you will never live up to being the right kind of partner for someone.
This kind of fear may come from experience.
You may have been in a relationship with someone in the past that you really cared for.
You may have believed that this relationship would work and grow.
However, it may have ended badly and you may have asked yourself why this happened.
You may have come to the conclusion that it was due to you not being dating material.
You decide to put off dating and start working towards becoming dating material.
Unfortunately, as you continue to put dating aside in this quest to become the perfect dating material, you may be denying the fear that you truly feel in going back to dating.
You may be fearful that your heart will get broken again or you will fail.
You have to be very certain that you are not putting off dating because of fear.
Take a look at how you have been behaving and make that determination.
Also, when you put off dating because you feel like you aren’t dating material yet, you have to truly understand what you define as dating material.
The danger some people fall into when they are in this situation is in defining dating material by what they have been shown through media or observed in life.
You notice that Paul who is your friend is of a particular status and behaves a certain way.
He has succeeded in being dating material and tends to attract women.
As a result, you believe that you should act the exact same way and have the same kind of accomplishments and social status as Paul.
This is dangerous.
You shouldn’t ascribe how you should approach becoming dating material based on what you are observing from those you know or the environment around you.
You are your own unique individual and should behave accordingly.
If you feel that in order to be dating material, you should be a certain way and achieve certain goals just because you have observed that kind of behavior, you will end up never being yourself and that doesn’t bode well for your dating life.
Get the very best of DatingLogic straight to your inbox!