Being okay with dating someone because your family wants you to is a slippery slope.
It’s best to date someone you are interested in than dating someone to honor what your family wants.
You are the one who sees this person everyday.
Being fiercely loyal to your family, you believe it best to date them, as you don’t want to hurt members of your family or go against what they espouse.
You are worried about being viewed as disloyal or afraid that by defying your family in not dating this person, you lose their support and love.
Dating someone is not just about today.
It’s about tomorrow and the day after and so on.
You will be with this person for a while.
Can you live with that?
Can you live with being in a relationship with a person over a period of time in whom you have no true romantic feelings for?
It is so important to look down the road.
When you only think about what you can handle today and in the short term, it blinds you to the reality of the situation.
A relationship typically has a duration.
Some last longer than others but there is a duration.
Assess whether you can handle being with this person over a consistent and possibly long period of time.
You believe you can make your family happy today, but in the long run, who ends up being unhappiest if you are in a relationship that you don’t want to be in?
When you have spent years with this person that you never wanted to be with in the first place and a number of your family members have passed on, what do you have left?
They are no longer there to please but you are now facing years of having lived a lie.
That leaves you with a tremendously empty feeling.
Unfortunately, by this stage you feel trapped.
Since you have been in this unwanted relationship for this length of time and all this time has now passed, you feel like you have wasted your best years and have no choice but to stay in the relationship.
This is a cruel predicament and you don’t deserve this.
Really, no one does.
Your task isn’t to figure out how to be okay with dating someone your family wants you to but more so how to be honest with yourself about the prospect of getting pressured into a relationship you don’t want to be in.
This requires courage and decisiveness.
After all, this is your future we are talking about.
A family that cares for you and loves you wants the best for you.
They want you to be happy.
Don’t shy away from being honest with yourself and with them.
Avoid getting into a relationship strictly because your family wants you to.
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