As a rule of thumb, keep the first date to no more than an hour or two maximum.
You don’t want to get too much time invested in a first date when you are just getting to know each other.
You should want to leave room for hunger.
You want the person to be hungry to see you again in future dates.
A date that is hungry to see you again wants to have further conversations with you and participate in more activities.
This is when the dates can start getting longer.
This is when the chemistry is beginning to set in and the need for more time together becomes more of a natural occurrence than a forced one.
Some people get worried that if they don’t have a first date that lasts for hours, the date failed or they failed.
This is ill-conceived.
You are better off having a concise first date filled with great conversation and interaction that lasts an hour or two at the most than a four hour date filled with lulls in conversation and awkwardness.
There is an exception to this rule.
When the other person is having a lot of fun and you both don’t even realize how quick time has gone by, a four hour or more date can totally work.
It has worked because it naturally happened and you are both having a great time.
It wasn’t forced nor awkward.
However, you shouldn’t be stretching out the hours erroneously believing that these hours are required for it to feel like a real first date.
You end up padding in extra time, hoping that you are giving the impression that you are serious about this first date.
All you are doing is silently annoying your date who feels like you are taking more of their time than you should.
You are filling those extra hours with conversation that is going nowhere or activities that are too heavy or time-consuming for a first date.
Your date was totally into you and what you were making them feel in that first hour or two.
The conversation was free-flowing and fun, with light flirting.
You were successful in whetting your date’s appetite for more.
However, you decided to take it too far by stretching the date for another unnecessary hour or more.
Now you have lost your date mentally, and as they finally leave the venue, they aren’t in a happy place within.
They are telling themselves that they don’t want to have that experience again.
This is too bad, given how well it all began.
To avoid this outcome, forget about trying to impress your date by adding those hours.
Keep your first date relatively short at one to two hours, and sweet.
Give your date a reason to be excited to see you again.
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