You are too stuck on the end result.
Will he like me?
Will I come off the right way?
It is hard to talk to guys when you have so many expectations of how the conversation will turn out.
It is a lot easier to get nervous when your mind has created so many different outcomes.
You keep thinking and thinking about how it will all go down.
You may already be envisioning the end of the conversation before it has even begun.
You are already hearing both your words and that of the guy’s in your head.
You are anticipating what he will say and how he will respond to what you say.
You are anticipating what you will say and the exact words you will use.
This is such a major setback for you.
You can’t continue to anticipate a conversation and how it is going to play out in your head.
You have no idea how it will turn out. Yes, I am sure that even that reality makes you even more nervous.
However, in order to stop being nervous thereby making it that much harder for you to talk to guys, stop thinking so much.
You need to quit with the assumptions and predictions of how the conversation will go and how he will react to what you say.
You need to talk to guys with your mind as clear and open as possible.
Whenever you sense that you are beginning to get nervous because you are beginning to anticipate and overthink, focus your thoughts on something else.
It could be something that you did recently that made you happy or made you laugh.
Once you begin to direct the thoughts in your head to something pleasant, you will calm down.
You will not be as focused on what you intend to do with this guy and what you are going to talk about.
You would be allowing your mind to stay off that tangent of thought.
The less anticipation and preparation you have, the better.
Do not keep planning what you will say beforehand.
This will make you even more worried that you will somehow mess up the words or the delivery when you use them.
Simply speak naturally and extemporaneously.
Imagine that this guy is actually one of your friends or colleagues.
How do you typically talk to your friends and colleagues?
You are typically quite confident and comfortable aren’t you?
You don’t plan what you are going to say beforehand, you just talk naturally.
You don’t play out the entire conversation in your head, you just let the conversation lead wherever it will lead.
This is the kind of attitude you have to have when you talk to guys.
It will enable you to have a much easier time allowing the conversation to flow and not being so nervous.
Remember that a guy will often mimic your body language if he likes you. You certainly want him to mimic a person who is energetic and confident.
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