You are too stuck on the end result.
Will he like me?
Am I coming off the right way?
It is hard to talk to guys when you have so many expectations of how the conversation turns out.
It is a lot easier to get nervous when your mind has created so many different outcomes.
You keep thinking and fretting about how it goes down.
You are already be envisioning the end of the conversation before it has begun, hearing both your words and that of the guy’s in your head.
You are anticipating what he says and how he responds to what you say.
You are anticipating what you say and the exact words you use.
This is such a major setback for you.
You can’t continue to anticipate a conversation and how it is going to play out in your head.
You have no idea how it turns out.
Yes, I am sure that this makes you that much more nervous.
However, in order to stop being nervous thereby making it that much harder for you to talk to guys, stop thinking so much.
You need to quit with the assumptions and predictions of how the conversation goes and how he reacts to what you say.
You need to talk to guys with your mind as clear and open as possible.
Whenever you sense that you are beginning to get nervous, as you anticipate and overthink, redirect your thoughts to something else.
It could be something that you did recently that made you happy or made you laugh.
Once you begin to direct the thoughts in your head to something pleasant, you calm down.
You won’t be as focused on what you intend to do with this guy and what you are going to talk about, saving yourself from this tangent of thought.
The less anticipation and preparation you have, the better.
Do not keep planning what you say beforehand.
This makes you more worried that you somehow mess up the words or the delivery when you use them.
Simply speak naturally and extemporaneously.
Imagine that this guy is actually one of your friends or colleagues.
How do you typically talk to your friends and colleagues?
You are typically quite confident and comfortable aren’t you?
You don’t plan what you are going to say beforehand, you just talk naturally.
You don’t play out the entire conversation in your head, you let the conversation lead wherever it leads.
This is the attitude you have to have when you talk to guys.
It allows the conversation to flow and keeps you from being too nervous.
Remember that a guy mimics your body language when he likes you.
You want him to mimic a person who is energetic and confident.
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