Why Am I So…Not Affectionate When It Comes To Relationships?

Sadly, you aren’t the affectionate kind, and it has to do with not seeing or experiencing much of that growing up.

Why Am I So...Not Affectionate When It Comes To Relationships?You weren’t around it much.

This doesn’t mean that you weren’t loved growing up.

You haven’t experienced or seen that much affection shown in your family.

A parent didn’t experience the same growing up, so they did the same with their own family.

How affectionate were your parents while you were growing up?

How affectionate were your siblings?

How affectionate was your extended family?

How affectionate were your neighbors or your community at large?

As human beings, we tend to adapt to our environment and what we experience on a regular basis.

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We often become it.

This is especially true when we are younger and a lot more impressionable.

You aren’t affectionate due to hurt in your past.

You were hurt by a past romantic partner, a family member, or a close friend.

You were betrayed by them.

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You are unaware that this incident had a really profound impact on you.

It affected your sense of trust and intimacy in relationships.

You told yourself that this was a one event and you were going to move on with your life.

Hidden within your subconscious, the betrayal or hurt did have an effect.

It stays latent for a while but it is there.

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As time goes on and you start having new relationships, you become less and less affectionate.

You are no longer touching like you used to or allowing yourself to get too close to your partner.

You don’t realize this at first.

After a while of this behavior, you tell yourself that it has to do with you not establishing strong connections with your partners.

With every consequent relationship, your acts of affection become less and less.

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This is no longer about who you are dating. This is about you.

This is when you look back on your life and who has hurt you.

It doesn’t have to be a past romantic partner.

It was anyone that was relatively close to you.

This is where your lack of affection is coming from.

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There is a part of you that has become afraid to trust and completely let go again.

You have your guard up.

This makes you less affectionate and a whole lot more cautious.

Your lack of affection is due to the fact that you don’t see a real future with this person.

This person is convenient for the moment.

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They are available and you choose to be with them.

However, your heart isn’t in it.

You wouldn’t feel inclined to put in the effort to show too much affection because this person isn’t that important to you.

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