Why Is My Ex Trying To Set Me Up With His Friend?

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Why Is My Ex Trying To Set Me Up With His Friend?Your ex may be trying to set you up with his friend because he feels like you would have a lot in common with his friend.

He may feel like his friend would be someone that you would really get along with.

Your ex has some history with you, so he knows what you tend to like.

He may feel like his friend can really meet that requirement.

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There is also a good chance that his friend has spoken about you to him. In other words, his friend may really like you. If your ex was friends with this guy when he was dating you, his friend probably liked you then too.


Hence, now that your ex is no longer dating you, his friend may have been asking him for an introduction to you.

This is one of the major reasons why your ex may be trying to set you up with his friend.

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Another reason why your ex may be trying to set you up with his friend is because he wants to keep you close and in his life. He may feel like he wants you around and doesn’t want to simply lose contact with you.


He may want to know what is going on in your life and in some ways live vicariously through his friend if you were both to date.

This is a way for him to somehow keep his connection with you alive. You may be dealing with an ex who isn’t entirely over you for this reason. He may want you close so that he can hear about you from his friend.

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He can reminisce on what it was like to date you through the stories that his friend will tell him about you. He would be able to learn about more of what you like and how you are.


Your ex’s hope may be that he will get to see you from time to time when his friend brings you to social gatherings. Your ex may believe that this would be one of his best options to get close to you again.

He may want to see if that chemistry is still there when you are around each other in these social settings.

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Unfortunately, this means that he may be using his friend as a pawn just to keep you close.


Again, he may simply want to keep you around because he isn’t willing to completely let go of the relationship or he could actually be hoping that the relationship may be rekindled at some point in the future.

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You do need to figure out how you truly feel about your ex. If you still have feelings for him, you could ask him to have a meeting with you and tell you about his true intentions.


Tell him to be absolutely honest with you.

If your ex tells you that he wants to try being in a relationship again, you will have to decide if it is worth it.

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Use your past relationship as your guide. Don’t simply fall for it just because you want to be with him again.


If your ex tells you that his intention is simply to get you to meet his friend because he believes that there will be a connection, understand that if you choose to date your ex’s friend, your ex will remain in the picture in some capacity.

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If you haven’t gotten over your ex or still have issues with him, you may want to avoid dating his friend.

It would only keep reminding you of him.


What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


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6 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Trying To Set Me Up With His Friend?”

  1. This just happened to me and hurt me unbearably. I dated a guy three months. It didn’t work because he wanted a family and marriage and I was just divorced with my own kids and didn’t want more. But I loved him and i truly felt he loved me.
    One night after it was over I got a phone call from his best friend saying Luke had asked him to call me to set us up. I was so hurt and angry like I was a used rag he had passed on when he finished playing with me. He was so close to his best mate too. This article has helped the hurt a little. Thank you.

  2. Hi bec,

    Feeling like you were being passed on to his friend especially given the fact that you loved him must have been difficult to deal with.

    I am glad that the article helped.

  3. I dated a guy that I really liked.. when he broke with me it really hurt when he tried to set me up with his friend I did not even know that’s what was going on. I was so hurt. He couldn’t understand why??? I was totally devastated .

  4. Hi Sammy,

    He probably couldn’t understand why because he figured that you would be a better match for his friend. Also, being that he most likely wasn’t as emotionally invested in you as you were in him, he couldn’t really empathize with how you were feeling.

  5. Wow, could it be that the guy just wants to test you to see how far you will go with his friend? I think it’s twisted. This happened to me many years ago. Only, the interest was feigned. It was pretty obvious that the guy was not really interested. Only after this other guy’s new girlfriend stared me down with a smile that said “I know something you don’t”, did I catch on. It was a game to my ex.
    I will never look at him the same. Gives me the creeps. When I see the ex now, I just want to get away from him. And I do. l

  6. Hi FoolishGirl,

    Your suggestion is certainly possible.

    Perhaps to a degree, your ex wanted to see if you would fall for it just so that his friend could dump you later and break your heart.

    Your ex seems like he is still bitter over the break up.

    Yes, you are right to get away from him when you see him now.

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