When he is showing genuine interest in you and communicating on a regular basis, he wants you.
Being accustomed to relationships happening at a much quicker pace in your past, you are susceptible to forcing his hand.
Don’t do that.
This is someone new in your life.
This means that your time and chemistry with him is different from what you have experienced with past partners.
Trust in the process.
Otherwise, your impatience strains a relationship that had a potential for romance or greater.
A guy who is conversing with you on a regular basis and learning about you, is a guy who is open to seeing where this leads.
The time he is taking to get to know you is for good reason.
He perceives that there is romantic potential, but knows that he has to go through the motions first.
Asking you out on regular dates means he wants to lead.
So let him.
The more dates he goes on with you, the more he is gauging your chemistry with him.
This is what getting to know each other feels like.
A process that needs to run its course.
This is a good thing.
On the flip side, a guy who isn’t regularly communicating with you or asking you out on dates, doesn’t want you.
A deficiency of communication is usually indicative of little to no interest.
This is irrespective of how good your conversations are when you do communicate.
When a guy genuinely wants you, he communicates regularly.
He hungers to know more about you, as you are constantly in his thoughts.
A guy who isn’t regularly communicating with you, isn’t thinking about you much.
This is an indication that he doesn’t want to be with you.
No matter how great you think your conversations have been in the past, he has to be consistent in his behavior to demonstrate that genuine interest exists.
The dearth of communication or dates is how he shows that you don’t matter that much to him.
Have you detected what he does with other girls?
Is he flirting with them?
Initiating conversation with them?
This is how you know you aren’t high on his priority list.
A guy who is expending greater energy mingling with other girls, is a guy who isn’t looking at you as a viable romantic prospect at this time.
There is a possibility that he gives you increased attention in the foreseeable future, but that happens when he has run out of dating options that had a higher priority than you.
In this vain, he is giving you the extra attention with an eye to jump ship the moment a better girl comes along.
No girl wants to be a guy’s filler.
In situations like this, have an awareness of what he is doing, and ignore his attention.
Ok.So there’s this guy we have known each other for a long time.We both decided to take things to the next level.Everything was going well,we went on dates,text all the time.After a while he started acting differently.He didnt text/talk to me as much as he used to.And When I asked what was wrong,why he has been acting differently he said that he’s been busy and he’s had a long day/he was going through something personal and he wouldn’t tell me.So I waited a couple days to see if he would change or things would get better and it didn’t.I talked to him again and I said if things don’t get better we should end things,just be friends.He said why and a I told him I have told u many times that you changed and won’t talk to me or text me and would ignore me all the time.He said the same thing that he has been busy and has been going through something and doesn’t really talk to anyone lately and that’s not true.I said is it because you don’t like me anymore? Do you want to break Up?he said “no I do like you still and I don’t want to break up.”I told him if by tomorrow things don’t change and you don’t talk to me or give me a sign you still want to be with me we should just end things,but if you want to work things out still show me by actually taking to me tomorrow and he said ok.The next day he didn’t talk to me or say hi even though he knew I was there.I broke up with him after all the chances I have him and ended it.I just want to know what happend everything was going good and he changed he was my first boyfriend and he knew that.I took him on his first date and we liked each other so much,he told me the sweetest things like I would never hurt you/I’ll never use you I’m not that kind of guy and he was always here when I needed him.We held each other on very high expectations.Was it my fault did I try to hard was I too needy?I don’t understand what went wrong.
Hi Vanessa,
There is a chance that he started getting worried about how much the dynamic of the relationship had changed once you both got into a romantic relationship.
When you were both simply friends, there was no pressure to fulfill the other’s emotional needs or expectations.
He may not have truly considered what being in an actual romantic relationship with you would be like.
He may be communicating less because he is realizing that this is real and he may not honestly be quite ready to be in a committed romantic relationship.
You did state that you both hold each other to very high expectations. Now that you are both dating, he may feel like he can’t meet those expectations at this time.
As far as whether all of this was your fault and whether you tried too hard or was too needy, you may have had some hand in this.
Perhaps you wanted him to text or talk to you a lot more than what he was used to.
Perhaps when you were both just friends, he would communicate with you less and you were fine with that.
However, once you both started dating, you wanted a lot more than he was prepared to give.
Remember, as I stated earlier, he may not have truly considered the magnitude of what it would be like to be in an actual romantic relationship with you.
He may have just thought that nothing would really change as far as the dynamic of the relationship and that your relationship would still be like it was when you were just friends.
However, your expectations changed once you both started dating and he may not be ready to meet them.