Am I Doing The Right Thing By Setting Up My Friends?

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Am I Doing The Right Thing By Setting Up My Friends?

Your heart may be in the right place.

You may truly want to set up your friends because you believe that they would be a great match.

There is nothing wrong with that.

As long as you are doing this from a place of genuine sincerity, you shouldn’t doubt your intentions.

However, do understand that your friends may end up having no chemistry.

You may believe that they would make the best couple but then it turns out that they couldn’t get along on the date.

This is something that you need to be prepared for.

Try not to get so wrapped up in what you want for them.

It can be very easy to become so engaged in how badly you want your friends to get along on the date that you forget that they are two unique individuals.

You may believe that they have commonalities, but these commonalities may not be enough to foment chemistry.

In fact, certain commonalities may be a turn off.

Your friends may discover that though they have some commonalities, they don’t really feel any chemistry.

This is very possible.

Indeed, they may be better off having a lot less commonalities and having more unique differences.

These differences may be the reason why they would feel some chemistry.

These differences may get them curious and eager to learn more about each other.

Hence, you really need to temper your sense of excitement and confidence that these two would make the perfect pair.

Oftentimes, when a person tries to set up friends, they put undue pressure on those friends.

They tell each person that they will absolutely love the other.

You may get carried away in making each person seem like the most perfect mate for the other.

The problem with this is that you will set expectations.

When you set expectations like this, you may make them both nervous.

They may be nervous that this person that they are about to meet couldn’t possibly meet all these qualities that you have described.

They may also be nervous because they begin to doubt whether they themselves can live up to what the other person is now expecting.

This makes the meeting all the more difficult.

There are suddenly a lot of nerves that don’t need to be there.

They are feeling the pressure because you have made it sound like they would be the most perfect match for each other.

You may have exaggerated their qualities and made them seem bigger than life.

You did this because you were excited and truly felt that these two would get along and be a match.

Your heart may have been in the right place but you have unwittingly put a whole lot of pressure and expectations on your friends.

You need to temper it down and be real.

Try not to reveal too much information about each person.

Let them have an opportunity to get a fresh perspective on the other person’s character by meeting them.

This relieves a lot of pressure on them and may allow them to simply open up and be themselves at the date.

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