Be careful that you aren’t beating a dead horse.
A partner who has lost love for you and is dead set on moving on, doesn’t want to get back together or is going to make excuses to extend the time apart.
The time off has been for this reason.
There is something lacking in this relationship or rotting from within it that led to agreeing to some time off in the first place.
Think back to the months prior to the separation.
Were there constant fights that led to verbal insults?
Was there so much tension you two barely spoke while occupying the same space?
Were there an unusual number of hours spent waiting for a response to a message sent?
Were there cancelled dates or outings?
With this amount of drama, a partner who has completely lost affection for you and is emotionally detached from you is going to cherish the time off.
A minority of couples who take a break from a relationship, get back together.
The time off gave someone in the relationship a greater perspective.
Knowing that they were happier without this partner during the time off, they either delay the reunion or call off the relationship completely.
A partner this emotionally detached is a partner not worth getting back together with.
Your relationship was already on life support.
It is hard to accept your reality when there are strong feelings involved on your part.
Loving your partner doesn’t change the reality that your relationship with said partner hasn’t been working for a while.
The love you have for your partner is blinding you to your partner’s emotional detachment from you, as your body and mind craves their presence in your life again.
Letting go of someone who fulfilled you emotionally and physically is hard.
Unfortunately, instead of being realistic about your relationship no longer being compatible, your real intent is to satisfy the emotional and physical vacuum that has developed in your life since the time off.
A relationship is a partnership.
A partner who believes they are better off without you and is emotionally detached, is a partner who no longer experiences joy when they are with you.
Consider this before fixating on getting back together with this person.
All hope isn’t lost.
A partner who hasn’t lost affection for you and hasn’t emotionally detached can be convinced to get back together, but you have to accomplish this differently.
A partner who isn’t emotionally detached but is reluctant to get back together with you isn’t going to be convinced to do so when you are calling and texting them incessantly, begging them to come back.
This is a ticket to failure.
Desperation in this vain convinces your partner that they are better off without you.
Rather, live the life that your partner is drawn to.
Think back to what your partner has complained to you about in terms of your behavior in the relationship.
For example, your partner repeatedly complained about your reluctance to do household chores.
Should this be a genuine area where you believe improvement is needed, work on that.
This must be a change you genuinely want in your life.
Don’t make this change solely to get your partner back.
Make it because this is what you want in your own life.
Become a household chores dynamo.
Clean the house, rearrange your furniture, clear out the room that is stacked with boxes that have developed cobwebs, etc.
Post the new look on your social media.
Talk to mutual friends about what you are doing about the house.
Whether it be through social media or mutual friends, your partner learns about what you are doing and curiosity sets in.
You must keep it up over a sustained period of time.
Concurrently, work on something else your partner repeatedly complained about during your relationship.
How about a complaint you heard repeatedly about your reluctance to get out of the house, preferring instead to go to work and spend the rest of your time at home with your partner, doing the same old activities.
Make an adjustment to your behavior by improving your social life.
Go out to social venues.
Sign up for classes in whatever you are excited about, whether it be exercise, art, dance, language, etc.
Remember, for this to work, it must be something you want to improve for yourself, not your partner.
Post your experiences on social media and let mutual friends know about it and have some of them come along.
Your partner learns about what you are doing and their curiosity sets in.
Doing it over a sustained period of time impresses them.
These major adjustments in your life make a difference over a sustained period of time.
One day, you are working on a household chore or taking an exercise class and you receive a text message on your phone.
It’s your partner and they want to chat.
Having spent weeks or months working on yourself, you never called or texted them, leaving them be.
This gave your partner the room to observe you without pressure.
They have now initiated contact.
Taking action to better yourself goes a lot further in bringing your partner back into your life than incessant phone calls and texts begging said partner to come back.
You have been living your life by example and your partner has been observing you for weeks or months.
Now they have reached out.
Don’t instantly request to get back together.
It’s going to take some time to rebuild rapport with your partner and you must take this time.
Don’t jump right back into having sex with your partner either.
Take time to reacquaint yourselves.
Permit this quasi-reunion to move at its own natural and unforced pace.
Don’t stop improving yourself during this time on account of your partner coming back in your life.
Remember, the improvements you have been making in your life are the reasons why your partner initiated contact with you in the first place.
As time goes on, should there be chemistry and compatibility, the two of you are going to get back together as a couple when it feels right.
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