What bothers you about your boyfriend having been with a lot of girls, comes from a deep well of instinctive caution within you that mustn’t be ignored.
Instead of being in an exclusive relationship with him, advise him that you much rather date right now and hold off on a committed relationship.
There are fears, insecurities and doubts that must be allayed before fully committing yourself to this guy.
Your last boyfriend wasn’t with anywhere near the number of women your current boyfriend has been with.
As human beings, we are terrified of the unknown.
You have never been in this quagmire before and grappling with it is anxiety-inducing.
There is nothing wrong with having doubts.
At this time, you don’t have to maintain an exclusive relationship with him, regardless of how much he encourages it.
You need time to figure out who and what you have as a potential relationship partner.
It’s his prerogative to turn you down on your request to take a step back on exclusivity, but in choosing to date for now without labels, he needs to agree to having an open conversation with you about his past relationships.
There is nothing wrong with asking him questions about his previous relationships and how they ended.
This is where you are protecting yourself.
You need to know whether his previous relationships ended with infidelity on his part or not.
A guy who has had a history of cheating in previous relationships has greater odds of doing it again and again.
The last thing you want to be is a heartbroken girlfriend who has been cheated on.
Have a transparent conversation with him about his past relationships.
Regardless of how promising his responses are, don’t automatically give him a pass.
Talk to his friends and family members about his relationship history.
People who know him well, know his patterns.
Go beyond his friends and family.
Talk to some of the girls he has been in relationships with in the past or slept with.
There is no shame in this.
Remember, you are protecting yourself.
Don’t skip this part.
You need to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
Girls who have been in previous relationships with him have firsthand experience on his character.
Talk to several of them.
Be polite and straightforward about the information you are seeking.
Girls who have had good or bad experiences with a guy are prepared to talk about it, as long as you are polite in your request.
Listen to their accounts about him.
By now, you have an excellent sense of who you are dating.
A deluge of bad accounts about his faithfulness from family, friends and past girlfriends is enough for you to end your time with him.
No, it doesn’t matter that he told you he never cheated on any of the girls he has been in relationships with in the past.
That’s all well and good, but it needs to be backed up by what family, friends and his exes say.
When it isn’t and you have received multiple accounts from family, friends and exes about his unfaithfulness, that’s your answer.
Walk away from him and save yourself the inevitable heartache.
In the event his accounts of faithfulness are confirmed by family, friends and his exes, thread with caution.
There is a chance that in spite of this confirmation, you persist in struggling with the reality he has been with a lot of girls.
As long as this discomfort persists, a compatibility issue arises.
Sometimes, there are some things that stubbornly stick in our minds, making an exclusive relationship with someone we are dating impossible to embrace.
With this continuous layer of discomfort, an exclusive relationship with him isn’t the right move to make.
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